I've recently started reading one of those books that I wouldn't normally read. It's The Disease To Please by Dr. Harriet B. Braiker. Recently, I discovered I was running into these modes of depression, and I couldn't really figure out why. I tried seeing a counselor who was not exactly the best counselor I've ever encountered, but then last week started seeing a new one, who really seems to know what he's doing. Anyway, I came across this book while at Waldenbooks, and for some reason it just sort of hit a chord with me. I really do think it is one of those problems I've had for a long time. I seem to try to find validation through other people, and by helpingout as many people as I can, almost to the point of where I think I do a little too much. Anyway, the book is interesting, and we'll see how it helps, if it does.

Been doing a lot of work to keep up with my regular school work. Finished reading the first part of Rousseau for Dr. Hauptmann's political philosophy class. I'm running into a bit of a problem with my Congress class with Dr. Shaffner, mainly because I am supposed to present an idea of what I want to write up as an official paper from the topics in this class, and I'm realizing that I haven't come across a single topic about congress that interests me in any way, shape or form. So this is going to be an interesting problem that I will have to deal with. I also need to start coming up with funding/grant sources for my dissertation project for Dr. Hauptmann's doctoral thesis class, and I'm not really much further on that one as well.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just wasting a lot of time here. I know I'm pretty intelligent, and I have many ideas that I think are going to be important one day, but I also wonder if perhaps I might be doing way too much in the wrong particular field. But I don't see a way out of it either. I'm this far into the program, and I don't really see a way of completing my work, or going onto something different without just finishing off what I've already started.

I don't know if I'll make a great political scientist. I don't even know if I'll make a decent political scientist. I can't seem to slow myself down long enough just to figure out what I should with what what I have to do right now. And that's probably the majority of my problem right now.

It probably also doesn't help that I haven't dated in so long now that I'm wondering if I ever will again. I had a bad track record before with some pretty screwed up women, and it would be really nice to finally meet someone intelligent, friendly and not crazy. Yep, a pipe dream. Better stick with the education and leave the romance stuff in the ether where it belongs.

Stumble It!