Well, today is my official birthday, which means the blogger entries kind of worked out the way they were meant to work out.

Haven't done anything birthday related today, which kind of sucks, as it appears most of what I have done today is just read the Congressional Reform book, and I will admit that it is not exactly a book that one would consider something fun. Someone told me online that I should find something fun today and just do it. I just don't have time. I've been reading this book all day, for which I have to write a quick memo on this evening about some question I have concerning the text, of which I really don't have any questions, even this far into the book, and when I get home tonight, Kevin and Anthony are probably going to be coming over for forensics work, so I will end up devoting the rest of my evening after 9pm to that, and while it's nice to see them getting better, it just sort of leaves me with an empty feeling, wondering if there might somehow be something better than this.

My sister called me this morning from California. We had an okay conversation, but nothing really different was said. She'd doing fine, and she's doing the family thing. Personally, I don't see myself getting involved with a family of my own for a long time, if ever. It's not because I don't want one, but I just haven't ever figured out the methodology of meeting someone. I meet women all the time who I am sure are great possible matches, but I constantly misjudge whether or not they'd ever be interested in me. Last year, I spent a great deal of time trying to figure out if a young woman named Stephanie was interested in me. All the signs were there, but my god, sometimes I think it would be so nice to just run into someone that comes out in the beginning and indicates interest. The dance process beforehand is so frustrating because I don't think I've ever figured out the signals if they really do exist. The same thing is happening this year as well. The few women that I do have contact with me appear to be those who might be interested in something more than casual friendships, but it falls right back into that problematic situation I've always had. So I guess I tend to just ignore any signs that exist because I don't ever really seem to understand them anyway.

And as this is my birthday, I'm not exactly getting any younger either.

I'm starting to really think about my direction in school these days. I'd like to change my emphasis from Theory and American Government to Theory and Comparative Politics. The only reason I haven't done so is because of one professor I really did not get along with in Comparative who tends to always be on the committee that decides the Composition Exams. I really don't want to end up getting shut out of the final stage of the doctorate program because one particular individual just doesn't like me. I've seen his influence on another individual in the past as well, so I know it is a strong possibility. I'm just starting to worry because my dissertation work seems much more applicable to comparative politics than it does for American politics. I'm trying way too hard to stretch it to an American issue (the American Revolutionary War period) just to stay within the guidelines of what my field contains. I'm thinking that one day I need to sit down with one of my advisers and discuss this because I have a strong feeling it's going to be a decision I have to make soon, and I need to know that changing in this way will be a good thing and not end up destroying my potential career.

I really think I have a lot more to say about politics on the international stage with theory than I do on the American political stage. To be honest, I'm not that sure I really care all that much about American politics. I sure don't care about voting, and I think there are enough people out there who are doing that field so that my input on the matter is rarely going to be something that helps people move the discipline forward. But I can imagine working with comparative politics and international law in a way that I might make a contribution.

I guess it's just one of those subjects that I'll have to take up at another time.

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