Some of the OTHER amendments Bush is considering....
We all heard about Bush's intention to support a constitutional amendment to stop gay marriage, so this got me thinking that there must be more very important election year issues that are so important that we need constitutional amendments to fix. I mean, we all know that gay marriage is just as important as ending slavery or guaranteeing that the federal laws also supercede those of state laws, so let's just go through what I consider to be important issues that will probably come next.
1. The Returned Bottle and Can Amendment: this is really important because even though we're paying 10 cents per can or bottle, people just aren't returning them. This will require a constitutional amendment backed by the president's bully pulpit to make sure that people DO turn in those bottles and cans. As leaders of the capitalism movement pointed out recently, "if people are hoarding bottles and cans to turn in at one time, they might all turn them in at one time and possibly cause a supermarket to run out of singles and five dollar bills at once, possibly sending the economy into a tailspin and forcing the president to increase tax cuts for extremely rich multi-millionaires."
2. The Internet Spam Amendment: after this amendment is enacted into law, all spam will immediately be eliminated and the whole country will rejoice because spam will never be able to be sent again. What a wondrous day.
3. The Poverty Elimination Amendment: Upon enactment, poverty will be outlawed. If poverty is spotted by government agents, which will be part of a new cabinet post requiring billions of dollars of funding, poverty will be grabbed, shaken vigorously and then driven to the next county and dropped off. Poverty will no longer be allowed.
4. The Enron/Haliburton Innocent Amendment: all charges waged against either of these two entities, anyone who works for them, or anyone being paid off by them, will be innocent because that's just the moral thing to do.
5. The Moral Amendment: people will be required to be good. If not, they will be asked to leave.
Any amendments of your own that need to be added?
Stumble It!
We all heard about Bush's intention to support a constitutional amendment to stop gay marriage, so this got me thinking that there must be more very important election year issues that are so important that we need constitutional amendments to fix. I mean, we all know that gay marriage is just as important as ending slavery or guaranteeing that the federal laws also supercede those of state laws, so let's just go through what I consider to be important issues that will probably come next.
1. The Returned Bottle and Can Amendment: this is really important because even though we're paying 10 cents per can or bottle, people just aren't returning them. This will require a constitutional amendment backed by the president's bully pulpit to make sure that people DO turn in those bottles and cans. As leaders of the capitalism movement pointed out recently, "if people are hoarding bottles and cans to turn in at one time, they might all turn them in at one time and possibly cause a supermarket to run out of singles and five dollar bills at once, possibly sending the economy into a tailspin and forcing the president to increase tax cuts for extremely rich multi-millionaires."
2. The Internet Spam Amendment: after this amendment is enacted into law, all spam will immediately be eliminated and the whole country will rejoice because spam will never be able to be sent again. What a wondrous day.
3. The Poverty Elimination Amendment: Upon enactment, poverty will be outlawed. If poverty is spotted by government agents, which will be part of a new cabinet post requiring billions of dollars of funding, poverty will be grabbed, shaken vigorously and then driven to the next county and dropped off. Poverty will no longer be allowed.
4. The Enron/Haliburton Innocent Amendment: all charges waged against either of these two entities, anyone who works for them, or anyone being paid off by them, will be innocent because that's just the moral thing to do.
5. The Moral Amendment: people will be required to be good. If not, they will be asked to leave.
Any amendments of your own that need to be added?
Stumble It!
posted by Duane @ 7:15 PM
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