Revisiting a crush that never went away

There have been about 3 women in my life who I have had crushes on that really never went away. Well, the women went away; the crushes didn't. One of them was a woman I was around almost every day while going through junior high and high school. Her name was Lisa, and I had the largest crush on her. She was so perfect, always saying the right thing, wearing the perfect thing, smiling just so perfectly....

The second one was a woman named Anne Fong, who I knew while working at the Hilton in San Francisco. I spent YEARS having lunch with her in the cafeteria, and we talked about all sorts of things, but not ONCE did I ever tell her I had the strongest crush on her. Well, that was until I realized I was about to quit and go back to school. She was wandering by the location where I worked in the hotel, and she stopped by to say hi, and I finally got around to saying, "I've always had a crush on you. Would you like to go out?" But then, I got nervous and added a stupid addition that amounted to me offering her the chance to think about it and then asking her to get back to me. Why not just write her a note saying, "Do you like me? If so, please check this box." No, actually, that would have probably been better than the wimpy way I chose. In the end, she never got back to me, and I quit. So I never saw or heard from her again.

The third one, well, I'll just leave that one for the ether. Everyone has to have a bit of mystery in his life.

Back to Lisa. I was perusing a horse training site (no, don't ask why...sometimes even I don't know why I do things), and there she was. I saw her picture and couldn't believe it, but it had to be her. Then I followed a couple of links into it further, and yep, there was her name as well. It had to be her.

So, I wrote her. I asked her if this was the same Lisa that went to the same schools I did, and she responded back stating that yes, she was. She really didn't remember who I was, but after a few emails back and forth, I decided that after all of this time, I had to say something. I had to let her know that she's been somewhat haunting me for about as long as I've been alive. So, I told her about the crush and expected to never hear from her again. But that didn't happen. Instead, she actively went to find the yearbook and figured out who I was, and she remembered. So, now she knows, and we had a nice little exchange about that.

Nothing will ever come of it, other than some nice conversation, but I'm so glad I actually did it. The last one I had a crush on wasn't really interested in me anyway, so this is probably the last time I'll ever have to revisit one of those critical moments in my life with the benefit of hindsight and history.

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