The perpetual arm problem

I'm still trying to get something done about my arm/shoulder. It's amazing how hard it is to actually get something done about it. I know Michael Moore's Sicko is all about how the health industry has its problems, but one of the biggest criticisms of the movie is that it focuses on foreign health programs and forgets to mention the long waiting lists people have to endure to receive care. Well, we have those, too. We just don't acknowledge them. I'll give you an example. Seeing my doctor was hard enough, considering she got injured and there's no way for me to know that, so NO ONE gets back to me when I'm trying to arrange an appointment. So, I have to arrange an appointment with some random doctor who is tasked with taking her clients, although no one knows she is tasked to do it, and there's nothing in place to let any clients know this.

So, I finally get to see her, and what I need is an MRI. I know this. My sister, the nurse, knows this. The homeless guy who hangs out at Carls Jr. knows this. But it seems that no one in Kaiser knows this. So, they first give me medication that doesn't work. So, a month goes by. I say I'm still in serious pain. They give me more medication. That still doesn't work. So I say I'm still in serious pain. They give me a cordizone (spelling?) shot. Helps for about a day, then the pain returns. They then give me medication. I keep asking for an MRI. Nope. Must go the process. Four months later, and about four hours of sleep later because of the throbbing pain each and every night, this strange doctor tells me I must have a referral to a doctor who can order an MRI, but before I can get this referral, I have to have an Xray done. Okay, that was Friday. Can't seem to get ahold of anyone as of Monday. So, that's where I am. Over 4 months have passed, and I'm still in serious, throbbing pain. And I still can't get referred to the guy who can order an MRI, THE ONE THING I NEED.

Krista and I broke up today. It was inevitable. I saw it coming some time ago because I realized that she was making too many sacrifices to be with me, and she didn't deserve that. She deserves better, and I wish her well.

I've been trying to get back into the swing of writing. It's been really hard because my place is somewhat trashed, and it's hard working around all of that. I spent a good portion of today just looking at the crap around the apartment before realizing I wasn't going to do anything to make it cleaner, so I ended up just puttering around the house most of the day.

I've decided to give up on finding a job. It's not worth the effort. It has cost me more money this summer trying to find a job than if I had stuck it out at home hiding behind my futon. I realize that there's really only one way I'm going to have a chance to become part of real civilization, and that's for my writing career to get moving. I'm giving it a year (the time I have left for school before I pick up my second MA). If I don't make it by then, I may just end it all right then and there. I'm figuring on a running jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, but from the opposite side as no one ever jumps from that side, and I'd like my end to at least be somewhat nonconformist.

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