The Korean Odyssey Thus Far
I guess you could say that I'm starting to get used to Korea. I'm not really satisfied where I am right now, but I'm no longer in a desperate mode, trying to figure out what I should be doing next. Let me explain.
Before I came to Korea, I was pretty much living paycheck to paycheck. Or more likely, paycheck to paycheck - $200, meaning I was never really making it but always a little bit behind. I put myself into that situation when I decided I wanted to go back to school, and it's been a little gremlin that's been nagging at the back of neck for so long now. Now, I'm in the job world again, and I'm still feeling like I'm in the behind payment schedule kind of life. But I'm not really there anymore. In about a week or so, I get my first paycheck from here. It's not going to suddenly cause me to become filthy rich, but it's enough so that I no longer feel like I'm about to go bankrupt at the next time I use my ATM card.
Unfortunately, this situation didn't come until I came to Korea, and I'd rather not be in Korea right now. First off, the place smells. Awful. It is the most pungent smell you'll ever come across, and Seoul smells like a backed up sewer. You never really get away from the smell.
The women are stunningly beautiful, so that's great. But I'm finding myself just not interested. I come across a couple of beautiful women every day that end up having conversations with me, but that old Duane just doesn't seem to show up. I engage them in conversations, and then I'm done. I really don't want to be in a relationship anymore. I don't want someone in my stuff, in my life, or any of that. I would love a constant companion, but I just don't see that happening without adding the rest of that baggage to the equation. I don't want to date. I really don't. When I go out to eat dinner, I kind of like being alone. I'm finally realizing that. I can't imagine some woman wanting to date or marry me if we pretty much had the separation I crave, so I guess I'm kind of stuck with the aloneness factor.
Korea itself is a very frustrating place to be if you're not planning to go native. And that's just not me. I love traveling through the lands here, but that's it. I don't like the food, and the custom stuff just doesn't work for me. Instead, I find myself wandering train stop after train stop, looking for Western stuff that can provide me with a sense of a nostalgic memory. The other day, I found an international gray market that sells diet Dr Pepper at a high markup. That was worth it to me, and I bought out her stock. It's not going to keep me in my favorite drink forever, but I can effectively have one can a night, and I feel like I have a sense of home with me here in this country.
I've managed to find all sorts of familiar places since I've been here. When I have time, I travel to the Coex Mall across town, and I eat at a Sbarro pizza restaurant. Other days, I'll hit KFC and get me some scrumptious chicken. If I'm desperate, I'll find myself at McDonalds trying to pretend their cheeseburger is just like the ones in the states...they're not. I've walked by and not entered Burger King, Dunkin Donuts, Baskin Robbins, Dominoes, Papa Johns Pizza, Pizza Hut, TGI Fridays, Bennigans, Starbucks, Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits, the Coffee Bean, and probably a few others I haven't remembered. I've shopped here at Costco, noticed how expensive clothing is at The Gap, and just wandered into one store after another that is no different than the ones back in the states. However, I have found a few Korea only (or semi only) places, like Emart. There's a really cool story about Emart. Turns out Walmart showed up in Korea in 2003 and was going to show the Korean people how business is done by Walmart. Emart kicked its ass so hard that Walmart sold all its stores to Emart, and now only Emart is here instead.
The place I work is really disorganized, and it's really frustrating for me. I like things stable, and it's never stable here. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong, when I'm not, and it just gets really frustrating. Things like schedules being made that get changed but the changed one never gets to me, so I end up with some phone call asking why I didn't show up for a class. I'm trying, really, but I'm not sure I'm really cut out for this environment. I've never really been all that good with little kids, although other teachers tell me the kids really like me. I can never figure them out, and I've started coming home with really bad headaches almost every day.
Other teachers tell me I should just jump ship and find a university here to teach at because I have the degree already to do so. I'm really apprehensive about doing this because the salary I'm receiving (or will be receiving starting on the 10th) is really impressive compared to the normal salaries pretty much anywhere here, including at Korean universities. So I really don't know what to do. I kind of like the Hagwon boss, even though he can be a pain to understand sometimes. I keep hoping to just push through this and expect things might get better. I mean, things aren't horrible. Things could be much worse.
An example: I was walking home from work tonight, a bit frustrated, when I ran across this western foreigner walking down the road I walk home. He looked confused. I asked him what was wrong. Turns out he has been here for less than a day, someone dropped him off at his apartment, and he went out to get something to eat and has no idea where his home is. So, for the last four hours, he's been wandering the streets trying to recognize his apartment. So I walked with him for awhile until we were able to get him back onto the road to where his Hagwon is, so he can hopefully find someone there that can steer him to his apartment. I felt really bad for him. I had the advantage that I can at least read the language here, so getting lost was my own dumb fault each time I did it. But I always found my way home because I could at least phonically get my idea across when talking to someone and trying to get directions. So, things aren't really that bad for me here.
I'm also done exploring for a little while. Every weekend I've been going to another spot on the subway and seeing what's out there, usually looking for some significant place that I wanted to find and pick up some hard to find items. I think I'm good to go for a little while. I now have enough food in my fridge and cupboards to last me until payday, and I'm pretty much going to enjoy that and take it easy on the next day I have a weekend (I haven't spent a single day at home doing nothing YET).
I really don't know where I'm going with my journey right now. I was pretty close to giving everything up when I was in Stockton. And I mean everything. I'm not in that place right now, but at the same time I don't really feel I have a purpose in life, and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to find one. I've never been all that religious (nor will I ever be), and I've never really been able to find satisfaction in the "simple" things. So I don't know.
I keep looking. But eventually that approach wears thin.
Stumble It!
Before I came to Korea, I was pretty much living paycheck to paycheck. Or more likely, paycheck to paycheck - $200, meaning I was never really making it but always a little bit behind. I put myself into that situation when I decided I wanted to go back to school, and it's been a little gremlin that's been nagging at the back of neck for so long now. Now, I'm in the job world again, and I'm still feeling like I'm in the behind payment schedule kind of life. But I'm not really there anymore. In about a week or so, I get my first paycheck from here. It's not going to suddenly cause me to become filthy rich, but it's enough so that I no longer feel like I'm about to go bankrupt at the next time I use my ATM card.
Unfortunately, this situation didn't come until I came to Korea, and I'd rather not be in Korea right now. First off, the place smells. Awful. It is the most pungent smell you'll ever come across, and Seoul smells like a backed up sewer. You never really get away from the smell.
The women are stunningly beautiful, so that's great. But I'm finding myself just not interested. I come across a couple of beautiful women every day that end up having conversations with me, but that old Duane just doesn't seem to show up. I engage them in conversations, and then I'm done. I really don't want to be in a relationship anymore. I don't want someone in my stuff, in my life, or any of that. I would love a constant companion, but I just don't see that happening without adding the rest of that baggage to the equation. I don't want to date. I really don't. When I go out to eat dinner, I kind of like being alone. I'm finally realizing that. I can't imagine some woman wanting to date or marry me if we pretty much had the separation I crave, so I guess I'm kind of stuck with the aloneness factor.
Korea itself is a very frustrating place to be if you're not planning to go native. And that's just not me. I love traveling through the lands here, but that's it. I don't like the food, and the custom stuff just doesn't work for me. Instead, I find myself wandering train stop after train stop, looking for Western stuff that can provide me with a sense of a nostalgic memory. The other day, I found an international gray market that sells diet Dr Pepper at a high markup. That was worth it to me, and I bought out her stock. It's not going to keep me in my favorite drink forever, but I can effectively have one can a night, and I feel like I have a sense of home with me here in this country.
I've managed to find all sorts of familiar places since I've been here. When I have time, I travel to the Coex Mall across town, and I eat at a Sbarro pizza restaurant. Other days, I'll hit KFC and get me some scrumptious chicken. If I'm desperate, I'll find myself at McDonalds trying to pretend their cheeseburger is just like the ones in the states...they're not. I've walked by and not entered Burger King, Dunkin Donuts, Baskin Robbins, Dominoes, Papa Johns Pizza, Pizza Hut, TGI Fridays, Bennigans, Starbucks, Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits, the Coffee Bean, and probably a few others I haven't remembered. I've shopped here at Costco, noticed how expensive clothing is at The Gap, and just wandered into one store after another that is no different than the ones back in the states. However, I have found a few Korea only (or semi only) places, like Emart. There's a really cool story about Emart. Turns out Walmart showed up in Korea in 2003 and was going to show the Korean people how business is done by Walmart. Emart kicked its ass so hard that Walmart sold all its stores to Emart, and now only Emart is here instead.
The place I work is really disorganized, and it's really frustrating for me. I like things stable, and it's never stable here. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong, when I'm not, and it just gets really frustrating. Things like schedules being made that get changed but the changed one never gets to me, so I end up with some phone call asking why I didn't show up for a class. I'm trying, really, but I'm not sure I'm really cut out for this environment. I've never really been all that good with little kids, although other teachers tell me the kids really like me. I can never figure them out, and I've started coming home with really bad headaches almost every day.
Other teachers tell me I should just jump ship and find a university here to teach at because I have the degree already to do so. I'm really apprehensive about doing this because the salary I'm receiving (or will be receiving starting on the 10th) is really impressive compared to the normal salaries pretty much anywhere here, including at Korean universities. So I really don't know what to do. I kind of like the Hagwon boss, even though he can be a pain to understand sometimes. I keep hoping to just push through this and expect things might get better. I mean, things aren't horrible. Things could be much worse.
An example: I was walking home from work tonight, a bit frustrated, when I ran across this western foreigner walking down the road I walk home. He looked confused. I asked him what was wrong. Turns out he has been here for less than a day, someone dropped him off at his apartment, and he went out to get something to eat and has no idea where his home is. So, for the last four hours, he's been wandering the streets trying to recognize his apartment. So I walked with him for awhile until we were able to get him back onto the road to where his Hagwon is, so he can hopefully find someone there that can steer him to his apartment. I felt really bad for him. I had the advantage that I can at least read the language here, so getting lost was my own dumb fault each time I did it. But I always found my way home because I could at least phonically get my idea across when talking to someone and trying to get directions. So, things aren't really that bad for me here.
I'm also done exploring for a little while. Every weekend I've been going to another spot on the subway and seeing what's out there, usually looking for some significant place that I wanted to find and pick up some hard to find items. I think I'm good to go for a little while. I now have enough food in my fridge and cupboards to last me until payday, and I'm pretty much going to enjoy that and take it easy on the next day I have a weekend (I haven't spent a single day at home doing nothing YET).
I really don't know where I'm going with my journey right now. I was pretty close to giving everything up when I was in Stockton. And I mean everything. I'm not in that place right now, but at the same time I don't really feel I have a purpose in life, and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to find one. I've never been all that religious (nor will I ever be), and I've never really been able to find satisfaction in the "simple" things. So I don't know.
I keep looking. But eventually that approach wears thin.
Labels: Korea
Stumble It!
posted by Duane @ 7:38 AM
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