Finding my new religion

I answered my door this morning, and two women were there to talk to me about what I thought was some apartment issue. First, it sounded like one of them needed to inspect something in my apartment. It wasn't quite clear, and then after a bit of broken conversation, I discovered that they were there to discuss their religion.

Now, in the states, I tended to usually just politely close my door to religious door to door people, but something about these two attractive women intrigued me (it could be that they were both attractive, but I digress). Anyway, so as I listened to their conversation, in very broken English, they were somehow telling me that they represented a Christian religion that worshipped the God Mother. Okay, I was kind of intrigued here. I'd heard of Mary worshippers, but this didn't sound that way. They went on and on in broken English about certain passages from the Bible, and after awhile I caught on. Every time the Bible mentioned a female pronoun, THAT was an indication of the "secret" God Mother the Bible was REALLY talking about.

Then they read from huge sections of Revelations, and it was there that I realized I'd heard all of this before. They were practically quoting entire doctrines of St. Augustine in The City of God. Sprinkle in a little Thomas Aquinas, and you had their entire argument, sans the God Mother part. So, I mentioned this, and of course, they'd never heard of Augustine or The City of God. So they continued on and on. So I decided I'd tell them all about these two important historical figures and their contributions to the Christian Church.
It ended up being one of the most bizarre conversations I've had that only seemed to be interrupted with their immediate need to "bring me" to their church, located somewhere in Korea. Well, I had to work today, so that wasn't going to happen, but they kept bringing out more and more pieces of broken scripture that they had to read to me, none of it making any more sense than the last bit they read. It was then when I actually read through their book (in Korean and both English) that it had to be translated by someone who had as much knowledge of Korean as I did, because the English part of it read something like "And so He-ith that taken in the chosen chalice of imbibement to the Monkey God of Happiness, makest the tree grown in the desert of Hebrewness."

Well, I had to head off to work, but I have a feeling they're going to show up again.

Stumble It!