Important lessons I've learned from watching television

They say television is not informative. Well, I have learned important things from watching it. Such as:

1. Terrorists obviously need lots of sleep because as they approach the 24th hour of being awake, they start to make really stupid mistakes. (--24)

2. Every police department has about 6 people of all races, sexes, and creeds who do 99% of all the crime-stopping in their jurisdiction. (all police shows)

3. The FBI never solved a crime involving mathematics more difficult than addition before allowing the brother of an FBI agent to start working for them as a part time gig. (--Numb3rs)

4. Asian can't tell the differences between separate Asian races, and all of them can pass for Japanese. ("Samurai Girl")

5. Most criminal trials are won by a lawyer who spent the previous night searching law books for a ruling or strategy no one remembers or ever heard of before (--Law & Order, Eli Stone)

6. The most dangerous criminals are ALWAYS moved by a truck in the middle of the night on very deserted roads, especially if there is a risk that someone might threaten to break them out of police custody. (--too many police shows to count)

7. I will never be haunted because ghosts only haunt very beautiful women who are so beautiful they would never, ever date me, and thus, I'd never see these ghosts. ("Ghost Whisperer")

8. Enemy military personnel are never taught to "cook" a grenade, so there is never any risk that an enemy soldier might pull the pin on a grenade, count 3 seconds and then throw it so that it explodes upon impact, always giving me the opportunity to pick up their grenade and throw it back at them so it explodes on them instead. (--almost standard for every war show)

9. Computers are so easy to hack, and the government employs super tech geeks who spend all day doing nothing but hacking computers by pressing random buttons on their computer keyboards, rarely even using the mouse. (--24, Torchwood, Chuck, and so many others that I've lost count)

10. Every cop has that "one" case that got away, but fortunately, something will happen that will allow that cop to finally close that case for good. (--police show fodder...happens all the time)

11. Only really beautiful people work for the government and police departments. If someone ugly works for them, that person is even more popular than the beautiful people.

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