Living in a life of uncertainty

One thing people tend to know about me is that I like things to be quite conservative. I don't mean politically. I mean so that my Tuesday seems a lot like my Monday. Stability is good. Anarchy, except as a conceptual government, is not.

Anarchy has been the state of things lately. When I arrived to South Korea, I had medical problems I couldn't control. Lots of anarchy. Finally got it all under control. Conservative again. Anarchy defeated.

Then the economy went kind of nuts. Lots of future anarchy. Thought I'd just ride it out and worry about those sorts of things when I get back to the states. Well, that never really works. So now I'm having to deal with it.

Haven't been paid in two weeks now. In other words, pay is two weeks late. Keep being promised a paycheck, but that's all I have received: Promises. The other staff receives the same guarantees. Everyone is somewhat on edge. No one is really upset at each other, but everyone is frustrated and thinking about jumping ship. People are looking for new jobs. Everyone except for me.

Why not me? Well, because I can't. I'm here on an E2 visa, which means that I am obligated to the company that sponsored me, even if that company has no money to pay me. I can't just up and take another job here. My only real option is to somehow convince by boss that he's not going to ever salvage his business and give me a letter of release, and then I can theoretically look for another job. Theoretically. Immigration changes its mind on this twice a day. And that also has a lot to do with which person in immigration you talk to. NOTHING is standardized here. There is no certainty. Just organized anarchy. Not good.

So, my other option available is to leave the country. That sucks big time because I don't have a job lined up anywhere. The US is going through crap right now, so there's lots of economical anarchy there. I'd be leaving a bad situation to a horrible situation. At least I have a home right now. Well, for the moment. Next month, who knows what I'll have.

I could go to another country, but that requires finding a job there. The visa application processes for most countries takes months. You don't just jump on a plane and start a job. Getting to Korea was a nightmare of a process. Going somewhere else would just be that much more difficult.

So, I'm sort of sitting here wondering if things are going to get better. I don't know. I have no idea. I can't plan for anything. And I can't do anything about my situation to make things better. I have a hard enough time holding a conversation with the clerk at the convenient store where I buy food. A few weeks ago, THAT was my difficulty. Now, it's gotten much worse, and I'm trudging through, hoping things get better. If not, who knows what will happen?

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