Took the music down

I took the music down because I felt it was too distracting and kind of uninviting.

Stumble It!

If there's only 10% chance of rain, why am I drenched?

Part of the kind of research I've started to do in communication is something political science never wanted me to touch. I use to find this amazing that in political science we study kings, kingmakers and how those people have made an impact on society. History is a methodology of doing the same thing. People who have no voice are unimportant and we ignore them. Sure, there are little attempts like the Gies' family attempts of finding the significance of history with commonfolk, but even those were told more as periodic pieces of how "people" lived rather than how individuals lived.

This is what I've sought out as a part of my studying in commication. Dr. D pointed it out the other day in class when he explained that "Duane's approach..." is to look at the study that shows 95% of the people thought this and then try to find out why the 5% thought what they did. You see, I think he recognizes in me my belief that those 5% are far more important than the cattle mentality of the masses. Rational choice points that people will do what is most common and most obvious, but in reality, there are people who shake their fists at the system, and they are the ones who influence the future. Not always. Not usually. But enough times that a lone thinker or believer in the impossible is the reason why entire societies have moved into a completely different direction than anyone ever suspected was going to happen. And then we treat that person as one of the "leaders" who chose to travel the route of great names, when in reality the person was anything but.

Right now, my research is focusing on the ability to change the minds of peers in politics through interactive media that is not part of the mainstream. In a survey I have been conducting, I am finding that those who have been within the testing area I have been studying have had the most movement along idealized natures while those who have just entered the arena believe that they are not changeable. I'm seeing something very interesting that no one else is noticing because self-surveys are famous for accepting people at their word. In my self-survey, I'm showing that people are self-reporting no change due to little exposure while those who have had the most exposure either report massive change or don't even realize they've changed. Fortunately, the paper trail I have at my use is capable of showing that change they don't even realize has happened.

So, again, I find myself focusing my research on an area that the rest of science has convinced itself is unimportant. Yet, I have to be honest here. I really believe there's a whole branch of science that people are neglecting. I see it as something much bigger than what I'm doing. I really feel that the explanation of the very base procedures and goals of people can go a long way to explain why those who have been doing the standard for centuries makes a lot more sense.

Stumble It!

Figuring things out

I'll be honest. I still have no idea what I want to do when I grow up. Yeah, I'm not kidding.

I know I was always meant to be a writer, but I can't seem to make it happen. I've written a dozen novels, and it's like nothing is happening. Other people seem to write their first, and it's so so, and they suddenly get huge publishing deals. I'm a good writer. I'm a great writer, and I can't seem to make a connection to save my life.

One by one, every query letter I sent out to agents has trickled back in as a rejection. They don't even read my new novel and already they reject it. Other people are making it, and I can't figure it out. I read their stories, and it's almost like it happened overnight, and there was no work involved to make it happen.

The publishing industry has changed completely, too. And that makes it even worse. 15 years ago, a writer made it by attracting an agent and then a publishing company. Now, with the Internet, EVERYONE is a writer. People who have never sat down and put two words together are suddenly acting as if they are the greatest writers who have ever lived. And they believe it, too. They skip the whole writing process and immediately become "writers". And some of them actually get publishing contracts. I don't understand it.

Then every celebrity and her sister is a writer. Paris Hilton writes a book. HER DOG writes a book. OJ Simpson wrote a book. Okay, that didn't go as he planned, but I'm sure you get the point.

So, here I am still in school learning a new discipline. Why? Is there really a reason behind this? I mean, I'm learning the science of communication. Why? The funny thing is: It's not any different than it was when I was learning political science. The only difference is: They don't have their heads stuck in the mud studying the same subject (elections) over and over again, convinced that somehow they'll solve the mystery of why politicians want to get re-elected.

I was talking to my sister, my only family member the other day. She was telling me about her daughter, how she's a gifted writer and very worldly. I said: "Sounds like me." My sister then went on a rant about how I'm not very worldly and how dare I actually suggest otherwise. I was, for the record, talking about the writing part, but even my own sister doesn't think I'm very worldly, as if I'm somehow this very localized person who knows nothing about the rest of the world. Forget the fact that I was a counterintelligence agent working in hostile countries, or that I speak multiple languages and am a government expert on areas that some people can't point to on a map. My sister thinks her daughter is worldly, and I'm not.

The reality is: I'm wasting my time, and I don't know how to stop. I don't really have any local friends. I haven't had a best friend in more years than I'd care to count. I haven't had a girlfriend in over a decade, and the one that I had back then was bordering on the insanity side, which certainly says a lot about me, I guess.

So what do I have to show for a lifetime of unworldly accomplishments but a hard drive filled with a dozen novels, a few hundred unaccomplished short stories and plays that no one will ever read, perform or experience?

Stumble It!

Added music to my site

It's something I've wanted to do for awhile. It's a short composition I wrote which I call "Soft Entrance". It was something a little different for me.

Stumble It!

You No Mess With Da Netflix, or Da Netflix Messa With You!

I hate giving out personal information for reasons that are unclear. For the last few weeks, Netflix has been asking me to input my birth year and my sex. Why? They say it is to help them with their records. I don't care. I really don't. I don't give a flying fuck if their records are updated or not with my birth year and my gender.

So, I put 1990 and Female. Right after I did that, Netflix began "recommending" movies like The Lake House, American Pie and every freaking Meg Ryanish romance that has ever been made. Let's be honest. They didn't want my information for their "records". They wanted it to recommend stereotypical Cosmo-ish crap that they expect your average woman to want to watch. And for the one person who might be actually thinking of asking this: "No." There wasn't a single recommendation for a Hugh Grant movie, so you're not normal (according to Netflix) either.

For giggles, I put up an ad on Craigslist to see if I can find someone. I had connected with one woman here who sounded kind of nice, but then she met me through yahoo messenger and proceeded to strip on her web cam. Now, I know some guys would think this is great, but...um...that just doesn't work for me, especially when we haven't met in person yet.

There is one other woman interested in meeting me, but our email exchanges are really slow between us, giving me the impression that it's going to be another situation where we never get the chance to meet.

It's tough being me. Really. It is. Just ask my stuffed animals. They see it every day, and it isn't pretty.

Stumble It!

Fall tournaments are finally at an end

Today ended the continuous forensics tournaments we've been conducting and attending. UOP did well all the way through, but now I finally have a chance to start working on so much of the school work that I need to do. I am in the process of writing 3 separate papers, all of which require massive literature reviews. It's going to be nice to finally have some time again to do what needs to be done.

I sent out about 20 query letters a few days ago for four of my novels (The Ameriad, The Teddy Bear Conspiracy, Absent Without Leave and Loser). I am going to set some time aside and start sending out my short stories next. I have so much of my writing that is just sitting around doing nothing.

As for relationship stuff, well, nothing's really happening. There have been a few times in the past few months where I've thought someone was giving me a signal, but to be honest, I'm not that good at recognizing signals anymore. I kind of need a woman to say "Hey, Duane, I'm interested in you" these days. Makes for much more difficult contacts these days. But it's not a big deal. Gives me more time to work on my writing, and once I get started on another book, chances are pretty good I'm going to be disappearing for some time until it is completed.

Stumble It!

What will be the ramifications of the midterm elections?

I ask this question because I have read and watched so many right wing commentators and pundits keep making arguments along the lines of "This was a victory for us because....". My favorite of this nature is "This is good for the Republican Party because it sets us up for victory in 2008."

It is almost a complete rarity to see "Wow, didn't see that coming. We got our asses handed to us. Guess we better go back to being what Republicans are supposed to be."

I was watching Michelle Malkin, a right wing commentator, on the evening of the election, and even though I like reading her columns, her banter on Fox News's O'Reilly Factor the same day of the election was over the top stupidity. She wasn't even speaking rationally, making all sorts of comments about how the Republicans are going to pull through and win, insulting every Democrat who has ever lived by pretty much equating Democrats with the institution of stupidity. The next day, after the loss, she wrote in her blog that it was really a loss for the Republicans, not a win for the Democrats. In other words, even though she can sometimes be very on the mark from the outside, she has zero ability whatsoever to talk about anything on the inside. It's so hard to complain about the paint outside the barn when you've never stepped outside of it.

So, what are going to be the ramifications of this election? Well, the Bush agenda is going to be slowed. I seriously don't doubt that. Right now, Bush and Pelosi are playing the "we'll be friends" game, but once something BIG comes between the White House and the Democrats in Congress, I'm guessing the gloves come off and we'll see how the real future of bipartisanship is going to be under this administration and new leadership in Congress. Already, Bush has been calling out to the CURRENT members of Congress to approve his surveillance plans, his temporary appointments as full time appointments, such as Bolton, and to approve his desire to build a large space station called the Death Star that will be used to destroy the Rebel Alliance. Oh wait, I think I got one of those wrong. He might not be trying to get his surveillance plans approved.

The catch? He has to do it before January because then Princess Leia and the other Democrats return to the Congress.

Stumble It!

Ramifications of losing your election

This just in: When you lose your election, like Rick Santorum (R-PA) did, you might have to deal with a crying fat kid. Life IS cruel.

Stumble It!

Hey, there's an election going on!

Yep, another election. This time, we're voting for...um...some people to replace some other people because the other people didn't do what we wanted them to do, or they did what we didn't want them to do, so we'll put in some new people who actually don't have an idea of what they're going to do, but they promise not to do what the other guys did, which was to do something we weren't expecting, which is okay because the new guys are not telling us what they will or won't do.

So, I went in to vote. Somehow, I didn't end up disenfranchised as my last letter to the Registrar of Voters must have made them realize I wasn't a total nimrod and that my reference to the voting laws of California (which I included a copy of) and the passage in federal congressional statutes (which I included a copy of) indicated that they were full of shit and had no idea that they were depriving a citizen of constitutional rights. So, rather than actually address it, they just sent me my voting card and listed where I could vote. That's what I love about this country: Accountability.

So, I went in to vote. And voted. The people working in the polling place decided WHILE I WAS VOTING that maybe this might be a good time to unplug the computer voting machine I was using. Let me repeat this: The people working in the polling place decided WHILE I WAS VOTING that maybe this might be a good time to unplug the computer voting machine I was using. Does anyone see a problem with this? Well, I did, and I actually STOPPED them from unplugging the machine (so they could recharge it) while I was voting. I said they could wait until AFTER I WAS DONE.

So, I went in to vote. And voted. And got someone else's provisional ballot. Well, I wasn't supposed to get it, but after I finished voting, one of the precinct people handed me SOMEONE ELSE'S provisional ballot cause they thought I was probably the guy waiting for it. The guy waiting for it was too busy staring at a hot girl in line to vote that I could have taken his ballot, voted on it, and got out of there before anyone would have ever figured it out. And if he would have tried to vote, they probably would have arrested him for attempting to cast two votes in the election. But fortunately for him, I told the precinct people that HE was the guy with the provisional ballot need, so as he went to grab the ballot, I went over and talked to the hot girl he was talking to. I mean, I was only doing my duty as an American citizen, making sure that she was never alone in the precinct because hot girls need...um...I really got nothing here....

So, I went in to vote. And voted. And then I went to my car and drove home. Funny, but no matter where I ever vote, there is NEVER an exit poll person anywhere near my voting establishment, almost as if I never seem to be part of a place that is important enough to help make a determination about whether or not my vote really makes a difference.

And who did I vote for? Who knows? I thought it was a video game I was playing, so I just started pressing buttons. I may have voted Bush 4 more years for all I know, but at least I got the high score and got my orc hunter up another level. I tried to activate the pvp section of the voting machine, but the ballot staff stopped me as I tried to "engage" the hot girl in the next booth. That's the last time I vote on a carebear voting machine.

Stumble It!