Dreams of a lego spaceman...

This is the official page of author Duane Gundrum. It is also the portal for the comic strip The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Legospaceman.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Someone you know is looking for you!

I get these really annoying emails all of the time from spammers that try to look like they're legit. Some of these come from some legitimate sources, like Classmates.com, but they're still spam and they drive me nuts. One of the recent waves of spam messages has been the "Someone you know is looking for you!" Then you click it and it takes you to some social networking or singles site that wants you to sign up so you can "discover" who it is that "might be" looking for you. If you've ever been stupid enough to sign up, you discover that no one is actually looking for you, but now you have another gateway to lots and lots of spam.

So I started wondering: Who would ever be looking for me anyway? I mean, I'm on Facebook, so if someone wants to find me there, that's okay. Some people have. I've found some of my old friends, too. Good thing.

However, I realize there might be "other" people looking for me, too. First off, there are people who want to sell me things. Things I don't need. Things I don't want. But they will continue to send me information telling me how much I need a Viagra pill, penis enlargement surgery or new credit (I honestly think there's a connection between the three, but I'm not smart enough to make that connection). Eventually, they go directly into the spam filter.

Then there are bill collectors. Well, the ones that NEED to find me have found me. Anyone else is pretending to be a bill collector, or is someone I never would have paid in the first place.

Then there's the Army. Yes, the Army still keeps trying to convince me that I should go back into the Army...as an enlisted member. Yeah, right. Like that's going to happen. I'm going to go back into the service, join as an enlisted member this time, take orders from some 23 year old with a BA degree who thinks that BA degree and ROTC training at UCLA makes him a natural leader. My 2 MA degrees, nearly completed Ph.d., numerous BA/BS degrees, combat service and my West Point training really doesn't agree with that supposition. I asked an Army recruiter why I can't go back in as an officer, and they don't really know why the age restrictions were raised to 42 for enlisted but still remain around 30 for officers. That's a nonstarter.

So who else might be looking for me? Ex-girlfriends? Like the crazy one that I still fear might be looking for me? The one that talked about the different ways she would like to dismember the entire male population (where I was affectionately referred to as "the last victim")? The one that sent me an itemized bill when I finally convinced her that our relationship was over? For the record, all of those are the same woman.

So, I'm just not all that thrilled whenever I discover that "someone I know is looking for me!". No, I prefer they not find me. My stuffed animals and I are doing okay without being found.

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Thursday, December 20, 2007

Appealing to all can mean losing them all

This idea can easily be used in politics, and I'm sure if someone was intuitive enough that person could take what I say and cross apply it to the election manifestations that are going on right now. But I'm going to keep it simple, based one something that's been bothering me for awhile from a very, somewhat, innocent source.

If you've ever gone to school, and I hope we all have at one point or another, you've probably come across Classmates.com, which purports to be a resource to get people back in contact with their school mates from previous institutions. It's expanded a bit, and it's trying to appeal to be a social networking site for a lot more than schools, but whatever. Unfortunately for Classmates.com, it is coming up against both Facebook and Myspace, which both are free, and while Classmates charges money for the more useful services it offers (like actually being able to contact someone you want to contact), it has zero chance whatsoever of making people think it is in any way superior to either Myspace or Facebook.

And why is this? Well, one thing that Classmates USED to do well was it would divide up schools by the years you attended them, and then whenever someone else showed up on the site from that school, it would notify you. Well, realizing that the chances are slimmer rather than normal that someone is going to find Classmates.com on a regular basis, so you'd get lots of notices of people in your networks signing on, and showing the system is worthy of your dollars, they decided some years back to lump years together. So, I graduated from Moorpark High School some years ago. Let's just say the date was 1992 (which it was not). I used to get notices about other people from Moorpark who signed up, mainly if they were from the class of 1992. Well, Classmates, trying to make it look like the system is much more used than it really is decided that they'd do something stupid, like lump 1992 into 1990-1996, or something like that. So, now whenever someone from those years signs up, they send me an irrelevant message that doesn't concern me in any way whatsoever. I don't care if someone signed up who was from the class of 1996, but I have to sign on to find out that someone I don't know, or would have ever known, is the person they're notifying me about. So I just stopped using Classmates.com.

But they still send me notices, and I think that's just stupid. They made their own service so useless yet think somehow they've made it more relevant.

Which brings me to Facebook. I hate when someone changes something that already works. One thing I liked about Facebook is that when I clicked "Friends" it would show me all of my friends in detail. Now, it shows me JUST the ones who have updated their profiles. I don't care who updated his or her profile. I can find that out if I want. Now, without multiple clicks, I can't get that full detail version anymore. Well, maybe I can, but they didn't make it intuitively obvious.

So, Facebook, trying to appeal to even more people with a new "feature" have dumbed it down to an annoying presentation. So now I don't even sign onto Facebook unless I'm really, really bored, or someone like my friend Kat has signed on and tells me she sent me a message.

Myspace has gotten so annoying over the last few months, I almost feel like canceling the account. I receive invites over and over again from people trying to spam their sex sites. I deny each and every one of them, but it requires me to sign onto my Myspace account just to find out Tina is not the Tina I knew from high school, but some 19 year old slut who wants to sell me pictures of her going at it with a vibrator. When are these people going to realize that most of us just aren't interested in this trash? If someone's paying for this stuff, I guess I understand how they spam everyone hoping for success, but I can't believe anyone is that stupid to pay for that kind of crap. And if it WAS the Tina I knew it high school, I'd feel even worse, kind of like the feeling you'd get going to a strip club and seeing a dancer who turns out to be a close friend you lost contact with because she was having trouble paying bills and had to "take another job to pay her bills". Yeah, I guess one can say something about going to a strip club in the first place, but there was a time back when I was going to San Francisco State where I was dating a woman who worked at one of the very popular strip clubs in San Francisco, so I used to pick her up at work, and you'd be surprised how many women from school I used to run into who were "paying their way through college". It's kind of sad, actually, but that's not the point of today's memo.

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