What it takes to get a job in this economy

There is an excellent article in the New York Times here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/22/us/22hire.html?hpw

I apologize for posting it this way but the blogger application I'm using is a bit stubborn with me here, so it's the best I can do.

The article is all about a $13/hour job that was adverised at a trucking school. What I found fascinating was how much work the HR people went through to eliminate anyone who had education or management skills. In other words, they lowered the bar significantly and then had no qualms about eliminating anyone that might have had experience, education or for that matter, skills.

This is what a lot of people are facing these days as they look for work. I know for me that advertising higher degrees was a death warrant for any chance I ever had at getting a job interview. I either couldn't meet their minimum experience and education requirements, which was always so hard to figure out anyway, considering I have enough degrees that not too many jobs really could elude me for long, or I had too much experience and education, which of course they would never admit or reveal. It is truly a sad commentary on everything when you are forced to hide your experience, and even age, from prospective employers. But unfortunately, that's where we are these days.

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Life on the Duane front

I moved into my new apartment last week. It's really nice and pretty large. It has a washer and dryer in the apartment, including a dishwasher and a microwave oven. It's a one bedroom, but honestly I don't need any more space than that. It also comes with a detached garage, so whenever I get a car, I'll have a place for it.

I'm still having real eye sight problems, even though I'm on the proper medication these days. Not sure why it's taking so long for my eyes to bounce back, but I have real trouble reading with my glasses now, and I'm really hoping I bounce back quickly because the last time I had this problem, I ended up in the emergency room of the hospital. I had some blood tested the other day, but the doctor never got back to me, which I hope is a good thing (last time they sent the police to escort me to the emergency room).

Haven't had the opportunity to do much writing lately (really hard when you can't see the screen of the computer), so I'm hoping to get into that soon.

Michigan is already getting a bit cold, and I don't have a proper jacket yet. I left my two larger coats with Kat, and I figured it would only be a short time before I'd get them, but I'm freaking freezing now, and I don't anticipate I'm going to see them any time soon. I have to walk a long distance to the bus stop every morning and evening, and that walk is really, really cold. My thin jackets I brought with me aren't doing me that much good. I bought gloves two weeks ago, but I accidentally lost them on the bus, which means I won't have gloves for awhile (can't afford to buy another pair yet).

It's pretty funny living in an apartment with absolutely no furniture. I can't afford any yet. Yesterday, I bought an office chair for $15 from someone on Craigslist. That much pretty much blew away the last of my money for the next week. But at least I have a chair to sit on in my apartment. Hopefully, next week I'll be able to buy a few new pieces of furniture so that this place isn't so empty here.

The job is going well. I like the people with whom I'm working, and the work load seems all right. Getting used to the work atmosphere, and all that seems to be working. Eventually, I'm going to have to buy a car, because I live way too far away from the bus, and there's no way for me to even get to the local store without a car. I tried going to Meijer's supermarket the first day I moved here, and it was the longest walk I've ever had to do, and at some points the sidewalk just disappears, leaving you at the mercy of speeding cars that don't seem to recognize pedestrians. It's really not safe for someone without a car on that road, and as Winter approaches, it's not even conducive to survival.

Not much more going on. This posting may sound somewhat negative, but things are actually pretty good. I've been having a bit of a time getting over the whole mugging some time ago. That really messed me up badly. My right shoulder is still hurting pretty bad, as is my head and neck at times. My doctor recommended me for physical therapy, so I'll start looking into that as soon as I can start affording the co-payments for that. $20 a pop might not seem like much to others, but when you have absolutely no money, it is somewhat significant.

This has been my first weekend in my new place, and it's been nice having my own place to myself. Things are working out, and I'm grateful for that.

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National Novel Writing Month

One of the projects I'm planning to participate in during November is something I've always wanted to do. It's called National Novel Writing Month. It takes place from November 1st until the end of the month, and the goal is to write a 50,000 novel in that time period. This should be an interesting experiment for me. It's not the first time I've written a novel quickly. Deadly Deceptions, a mystery/suspense novel that takes place amongst US counterintelligence agents in South Korea, was written during a two week leave I took once while in Korea. But not every novel has been that quick, judging from my last one, The Ameriad, which took me over 5 years.

So, I'm thinking about which novel I'd like to write next. I'm allowed to outline it before writing it, so I might get on that soon. I was going to be rewriting The Armageddon Project, renamed To Touch the Unicorn, renamed to 72 Hours in August, but it is really a rewrite, and that doesn't seem ethical in a contest that is supposed to be "new" work. So I'll be thinking about my next NEW project.

As for other things, starting to become comfortable in my new job in Michigan. Having trouble finding an apartment because of my old bad credit (plus the last 4 or so months of being destitute and not having a job), but have to keep believing things will work out for the better.

That's all for now.

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Starting a new job

Well, I made the trip across the country on Amtrak from Sacramento (San Francisco) to Grand Rapids, Michigan. It was an interesting trip, and something I'm glad I did because I've never done that on a train before across the USA.

I met some interesting people on the train, specifically a British tattoo artist who was living in the states and traveling to Chicago. He and I spent the majority of the trip together talking and just having a good time. It definitely made the trip go by faster. He was an interesting fellow, and at one time he almost got into a fight with this Berkeley reject guy that was on the train and trying to pick an intellectual fight. He didn't stand a chance against Brandon, who really knew a hell of a lot about politics and history.

Anyway, I'm completely out of money, but I start my new job tomorrow at Spectrum Health. I am so glad I got this job. Medical coverage starts up for me in a few days (on the first). I went to a health clinic in Grand Rapids yesterday to see if I could get a prescription for my drugs that I need to be taking. I've been out of medication for about two weeks, trying to mentally convince my body not to shut down or put me into cardiac arrest. I'm on most of my required meds now (had to spend the very last bit of cash I had to fill the prescription at Walgreen's but I think it was worth it). Times are going to be tough for the next few weeks, but once I start getting paychecks, things should start leveling back out again.

Well, it's late and I need to go to bed. Have to get up really early tomorrow to catch the bus to work. Wow, haven't said that in a while....

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A couple of pet peeves while looking for a job

I won't get into the whole "I can't find a job and I'm pissed" thing, but I thought I would share some of those little nuances that really bring frustration in the whole search process. Some of the first ones we already know:

1. You have too much experience or education to work here.
So, in other words, at some point I ended up with so much experience and education that I must now crawl into a gutter, starve and then die. Seems kind of wrong. But that's just me, and I've got too much education, so that probably means I'm wrong.

2. The impossible request routine.
I love this one actually because it's just so wrong in so many ways. I was reading a job ad on Craigslist for someone with these words: Include a few sentences at the top as to why you feel you would be a good fit for our company. The only problem? There's no information in the ad whatsoever that even hints anything about the company. So, I'm thinking my response should be: "I really think I'm a good fit for your company because I'm very vague about myself, constantly living in a state of ambiguity so that no one knows anything about me. I think I would fit right in with you all mysterious people and your unknown company."

3. The Desire for Entry Level People Who Already Have Had the Job:
Yeah, I'm not kidding. What this category means is that they advertise for an entry level person to join their company. Then you open up the ad, read it and discover that what they're looking for is someone who has at least five or six years of previous experience already doing the exact same job. What part of "ENTRY LEVEL" does five or six years of previous experience cover? My favorite of this category was when Homeland Security first launched, and there was an ad for someone to fill a position that had NEVER existed before, but wanted five years previous experience in that exact same position. I mean, NO ONE ON EARTH ever had that position before. I wonder who lied his way through that interview with a straight face saying, "Oh yeah, I did this job before, even though it didn't exist, and has just been invented for the first time." It's like going back to Ma Bell back in the early days of telephones and saying that you are an expert at videoconferencing.

Okay, enough of my gripe for today. I'll go sleep off the rest of the night in this gutter I just found. It's my gutter. Everyone else stay away!

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My problem with internships

I understand that a lot of people need experience, and sometimes people in school can get a leg up by taking an internship, but I'm starting to see something that I don't think was originally intended in the whole internship market. Businesses have been using internships as free labor, and they're getting pretty blatant about it as well.

While going to the University of the Pacific, one of the requirements they implemented in the second year I was there in graduate school (which means it did not affect me) was that political communication people were required to fulfill an internship. That's easier said than done as quite often people just don't have that kind of time while working an assistantship during grad school. But some people had to do it, and they did. In that context, I can understand the value of an internship. For those studying political communication, some type of job that involves political communication is a great internship to give someone experience in their field.

It's AFTER this process that I start to wonder about the whole internship thing. I look at a lot of jobs on Craigslist, and one thing I've started to notice is that really crappy jobs are often advertised as internships. I'm talking about the kind of jobs where you won't learn anything other than how to file papers and answer a telephone. Yet, they're wanting people with strong qualifications before they'll "hire" them as an intern who doesn't get paid. Think about this for a second. An internship is supposed to help you gain experience in your field, so you can go on to get a good job in that field. However, these internships want you to already have extensive experience ALREADY in the field, which means you probably had to have had an internship to get the internship.

This reminds me of the episode of The Office where Michael Scott attends a career fair where he is looking for an intern for their business. He doesn't like the one kid who seems interested, and then realizes after a short amount of time that NO ONE wants to work for his paper company, especially when his internship is a free internship. So towards the end of the day, he finds himself desperate and tries to win back the one kid who he shunned (which doesn't succeed).

This is what the whole internship thing reminds me of because I keep seeing companies that want people with tons of experience before they'll allow you to do an internship for them. And they're crappy companies! I'm not talking about Lucas Film deciding to let you intern as a film director's assistant. I'm talking about some social program reject firm that really wants nothing but free labor from young people, and they have no huge name recognition either. What exactly do they offer someone other than MORE experience than they already have, which they achieved by doing the internship before them?

This has been one of my observations of a crappy behavior since looking for a job. Businesses see the economy as bad so they decide to fill their actual jobs with interns rather than employees, and they wonder why their companies don't seem to be bouncing back. If this sort of thing continues, the recession is going to be very depressive.

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Customers Get in Our Way of Business....

Living Situation
Since being back in the states, I've been living with a friend in Oakland. It's an okay situation, but at the same time I'm highly allergic to cats, and she has two cats (plus two others that hang out outside of the house). For some reason, animals really like me, and they jump up on my lap and want to hug me and rub against me and just be all kitten-like with me, and that's cool. But I'm highly allergic to them. So that doesn't go very well. I've been getting really sick, so I might have to find my own apartment sooner than I was planning.

Wifi...or why I am starting to hate younger people in trendy businesses
One of the things I find myself needing since being back is wifi. In Korea, it was everywhere, and finding it was not much of a chore. Here, in the states, it's become a consumer product so companies do everything they can to charge you for it. The old "go to Starbucks" for wifi doesn't seem to be the norm anymore. I've walked into a couple of Starbucks, and they just don't have it.

A Peet's Coffee Shop is located close to where I live, and I decided to go there because they advertise wifi on their window. I went in and decided to order a vanilla bean frappucino with carmel, and I really felt bad because I was making this poor employee guy actually break his routine of reading some magazine he was reading behind the counter. With his tiny goatee and $700 "I'm a rebel" haircut, he stared at me as if I was some piece of garbage that accidentally rolled in through the door. When I ordered, he sighed. Yeah, he actually did. It was like he was going way out of his way in order to serve me. I was friendly and polite the whole time, and that just seemed to make him into even more of an asshole.

When I finally set up my laptop to write, I tried to access the wifi, and of course, you need a password to do it. So I had to go back to Mr. Special and ask him for a password. Without speaking to me, because I was so obviously beneath him, he printed something out on the cash register, without looking at it, and without even looking at me, he handed me the paper without ever making eye contact. That's how I got wifi access at Peet's Coffee.

Trying to find a job
It's not been easy. I really need a job soon, and I can't seem to find a line on any. I apply and apply, but I get generic responses, if I get a response at all. This does not bode well for the future.

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My last unofficial day at work

Today was probably the worst day of work I've had in a long time. Yesterday was great. Yesterday was the two classes with the debate kids, and like I said before, I really like these kids. We had a pretty good set of debates. There was one small problem, however. The previous week, one of the girls accidentally broke the handle off of the door where we hold the class, so you basically can't shut the door unless someone is inside the room. Well, of course, fate struck and the kids were outside of the room when one of them accidentally shut the door, locking all of their stuff inside. So, after I realized that there was no other way to get into the room, I had to do what I was trying to avoid, and that's break into the classroom using my skills at lock picking, one of the few skills that I tend not to bring up in public too often, even though it was taught to me by the government when I did what I used to do for the military. Anyway, I did it when one of the girls wasn't watching, and once I slipped into the classroom, I thought I got away with it, but she had actually seen everything and was so excited that her teacher could pick a lock REALLY FAST that she had to tell everyone. Well, I just said the government trained me and leave it at that. Of course, try telling something like that to kids.

Anyway, fast-forward a day and this was a new set of classes that I went in to teach. I was mostly tempted to just skip teaching, but to be honest, my apartment was roasting around that time, and my sole reason for going into work was because I was about to faint from heatstroke. Anyway, once at school, I listened to the new girl talking about how she's nervous about staying because she realizes the school is definitely not doing well and is probably going under.

It turns out there was some information in this conversation because I found out that she used to work for the guy that is now the big name in our school, some thirty-five or so year old Korean guy who "graduated from Harvard" who has been spending his entire life charging young mothers of young kids money to hear his motivational speeches about how he got accepted to Harvard. Granted, he hasn't done anything since Harvard, other than have motivational speeches, but that's his big schtick. Anyway, it turns out that the girl I'm working with once worked for this guy in the past. Turns out, he pays as well as the school does. He owes her a lot of money, and he "promised" to pay her, yet never got around to doing so. I'm starting to think that this kind of thing runs in this particular circle of school management.

So, I taught the first class, which was mainly one 6th grade student who is pretty smart and always interesting to communicate with. I like him, so that was okay. The second class is the class from Hell, which is with a bunch of kids that have no concern for learning and want to play games all day long. They yell and scream, and they started today's class by calling me all sorts of Korean insults, laughing because they were convinced I had no idea what they were saying. Then they'd pull the typical 10 year old tactic of "teacher, do you know what she say?" And after ten thousand renditions of that, imagine how fun that class was starting to be.

So, I just stood in front of them and let them go on. And on. And on. About half an hour into the class, they started trying to get me to actually start the lesson because when your teacher is standing in front of the room, leaning against the white board, just staring, it starts to get a bit uncomfortable. So I continued just standing there. They then found their page where they remembered we were and asked to start the class. I began the lesson, and immediately after, almost on cue, they started going nuts again. So, I stopped and said nothing. And just stared at them.

Then they started the name calling routine again. I looked at my watch and said: "Class is finished for today." And then I walked out. I said goodbye to the other two teachers (the young girl I've talked about here, and some guy I've never seen before), and then left. I told the secretary, who I've known the longest that she's probably not going to see me again, that I'm going to be flying Wednesday. She asked me if I wanted to talk to the big boss. I said no. The last time I talked to her, she promised me AGAIN that she was going to pay me on a certain date (the fifth time now), and I had no desire to go through another session of that. So, I said no and wished her well. She told me she was probably going to be quitting on Friday.

Then I went home and made myself some eggs for dinner. Not really a dinner kind of meal, but I wasn't feeling like having the usual kind of thing. It means I have nothing for breakfast tomorrow, but that's tomorrow, and I'll face down that demon when she comes.

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The Other Victims in this Human Drama

Thought I would take a step back from complaining about the bad job and talk about another variable that is taking place at work that doesn't actually affect me, but is right there in front of me. What I'm talking about is some of the other people who work with me who are now finding themselves as potential victims in this problematic situation. It's bad enough that I haven't been paid in quite some time, but I'm not the only one. Others have been working pretty long, too, and they're also in a position that isn't very tenable.

Well, a new girl started working just last week, and she's a sweet, innocent-appearing, Christian, Korean girl who seems like a very friendly person. I've had a few conversations with her, and she's only now starting to realize that things aren't as solid as she first imagined them. I could see her trying to put into words her concerns, while at the same time trying to verbally convince herself that things won't be that bad. When she would ask me what I thought, I avoided becoming the voice of dread and told her that perhaps she should talk to one of the Korean teachers, another woman who has been with the company for a few months. I said that perhaps she can give her a better perspective of how things are going, because I really didn't want to have her coming away from a conversation with me and my negativity, feeling even worse for the effort.

This is the kind of girl who is very trusting, and she's hoping very much that things will work out. At the same time, the manager (not the owner) is about to quit as well, because she hasn't been paid in a very long time. The main secretary is about to jump ship right behind her. The whole place is imploding on itself, and it's sad to see anyone else swept up in the disaster that is this place.

But I feel really bad about this new girl, mainly because she seems so nice, and she's in a precarious situation where she probably needs to do something else. She told me that she came from a job where the previous boss told her that the ESL community is small, and that she shouldn't make waves (she may have not been paid completely at that job either) or she might find herself unable to ever find a job.

I find it truly sad that this industry allows this sort of behavior to take place and reinforces it through traditional feedback processing. I used to complain that I am stuck in this job because I'm legally not allowed to take another job in Korea, but these other teachers are just as stuck, because if they take another job, because they're allowed to by law, the industry itself punishes them for making waves and not just sticking it out until the boss decided he or she might be willing to pay a salary.

The manager asked me today if I'm going to be working on Sunday, realizing I'm probably going to be out of the country almost immediately because of this mess, and I said I would be there. She asked me why, as she couldn't see why I would loyally come in when I know I won't get paid. Well, on Sunday I teach debate to two groups of young kids who really like doing it. The classes are never a chore, and they're always interesting. Otherwise, I'd probably stay in a hotel near the airport and never teach another class here again. It's not because I'm being loyal or anything like that. I just like these kids, and I figure I'll at least give them one last debate class with me before I leave.

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Discovering where I stand in the grand scheme of things in Korea

I'm about to leave Korea. Things haven't worked out well here. I haven't been paid in so long that I don't remember when I was last paid. Well, I'll be leaving here next week, and I kept that open, thinking that all they had to do was try to catch up on my pay, and I'd stick it out. Well, in the grand scheme of things here, that's admitting I'm spineless, and therefore, leaves me open to further complications.

Let me explain. You see, I discovered through a conversation with a Korean teacher who was privy to a conversation with the big boss and her assistant manager where the big boss felt that she did not have to pay me because she didn't believe I had enough money to afford a plane ticket to leave. Yeah, I'm not kidding. The thought process she was using was that I'm helpless, stuck in Korea, and therefore there's no hurry to actually pay me. So, just because pay is several months behind is not a problem. The wayguk (foreigner) isn't going to leave because he has no way to leaving. Therefore, we can treat him as unfairly as we desire.

If this was happening back in the states, I'd quit immediately, find a new job and then move on from there. But I don't have that luxury here because I'm in a country across an ocean from my home. I don't even have the luxury of being able to claim my apartment as mine (it's "owned" by the boss who can probably kick me out if we ever come at odds with each other; I've heard of stories of people having to vacate their apartments in minutes, and sometimes having the doors locked on them with all of their stuff still inside).

So, when people ask me why I'm leaving, I would point at this complete lack of respect I've been receiving here from this job. Yeah, I could continue to work for free, but what person in his right mind would continue to do that. I mean, I'm as gullible as the next guy, but there comes a time when gullibility turns into exploitation. I'm a bit past that point.

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Some people just aren't born to teach very young children

Most people know my job has been going downhill for some time now. I won't go into the specifics again (it's all over my blog if you really want to read it, but just leave it at the fact that I'm not getting paid, and we're probably good to go), but yesterday definitely was a true nadir in my Korean teaching experiences.

First off, I'm really here to teach debate, and I have a solid group of students who participate on those days that I teach it (Saturday and Sunday). However, during the week, I've been required to teach English classes to fill time. Mostly, I've been teaching novel reading classes to students and every now and then a social studies class. It hasn't been that bad, but it hasn't been great either.

Well, we ended up with a new manager the other day, and she changed the curriculum completely. Part of the problem of being me here is that the mothers of these kids keep requesting me to teach classes (it may be because they like my teaching; it may be because they want the Caucasian guy teaching their Korean kids; or whatever). So, this new manager decided that I should be teaching reading, dictation and grammar instead of the usual novel classes. Well, the reading isn't that bad, and the grammar is pretty straightforward. But the class for dictation is a class of four students who are EXTREMELY young. Think fresh out of kindergarten and you get the age group. Think less mature than kindergarten and you get the mentality. So, I'm supposed to teach dictation to a group of kids that have no intentions of listening AT ALL. I ended up spending the last half hour of class fending off screaming kids yelling "We want ice cream!". Needless to say, I went home after work with my nerves so frayed that I don't think I will ever teach kids that age again, especially in a language they mostly don't understand.

That's what it's like to teach here on an almost constant basis. The kids don't want to learn; they're being forced into evening classes by their parents who want them to max the English portions of the TOEFL tests that they have to take in order to get into good schools YEARS from now. So the kids don't see a reason why they should be there, and they hold it personally against the teachers who are trying to teach them. And then to top it off, you have the mothers who have no teaching experience whatsoever constantly telling the teachers how they want the classes to be taught. Fortunately, I don't have to run into this part of the equation (the Korean teachers do, however), but there's always that sense that everything you do is being watched. All of the classes are on CCTV, so the parents often sit in the lobby watching the classes on the main computer, criticizing each teaching moment as it takes place.

That's the kind of atmosphere that I've been living in for the last 7 months or so. Now add the variable of "no pay at all" and you might understand why I'm heading to a major clash with this job.

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Discovering Who Your True Friends Are & the Use of Punctuated Equilibrium to Determine One's True Motivations

Most people who follow my research areas know this about me, but I tend to be much more interested in why individuals do things than in why groups of people do things. To me, history is not about how groups interact or act, but in how motivations push specific individuals to do the things they do. In other words, rather than try to figure out why the majority of people might have thought one way or another during the Moscow uprisings of 1991, I look at the influential people who swayed large groups of people so that we can see what that individual's actions did to move the crowd. Even more important to me is what was done by specific individuals that history does not record. So, rather than focus on the great speakers that swayed the founding fathers to do what they did, I look into the Tory speakers and writers who kept people from making the resistance unanimous. It may seem like common sense, but we don't study things that way other than as some kind of post-modernist approach to studying the status quo. I'm interested in it for the long term, to see how those individualists might be projected on future conflicts to see what might cause one rebellion to win while another to fail, instead of leaving them stuck in their own little footprint in time.

But I'm getting ahead of myself with this post. What I wanted to talk about is a symptom that I often study in social science that I also have started to observe in every day life. Right now, I'm having some real problems in Korea. Therefore, I started to turn to old friends who I have helped out in the past, figuring that the whole definition of friendship is that it is a person you can count on in a crisis. What I am discovering is that friendship is very situationally dependent. Some people I have helped out at great cost to myself in the past I recently contacted, asking for some assistance when needing to return home, and I was actually shocked at apprehensive they were to offer assistance of their own. One friend, in particular, is someone I have helped out in numerous situations where he has called me up and asked for assistance. Without a second thought, I was always willing to lend a helping hand, even canceling some of my own plans to help him out at the last minute. Imagine my susprise when I was asking him to help me figure out how to get back to the states with as little trouble as possible. I found the hesitation to be quite interesting, and the rambling while trying to find a way out of the conversation to be even more telling. Finally, I thanked him for his help (which he didn't give) and then I hung up. I realized that some people treat friendships one way, and once the need to reciprocate occurs, they waffle and go the other direction.

This is very much a part of my study of the human condition that I detail so much in my studies. It matches something I have believed for so long now that I constantly argue with people over. But the premise is simple: You can never tell the true nature of another individual until that person is required to step outside of his or her natural element. It was the same thing with combat. The tough talking guy was often the guy who ran the other direction. The quiet, demure one was the one who ended up saving the team.

This is one of the reasons why I find message boards so intriguing. People argue with each other constantly about how they would do one thing or another, but in reality, they have no idea how they would actually respond in any particular situation. They think they would do one thing, but when it comes down to having to make that choice, they rarely do what they expect, but do what they are most likley going to do because their decision-making skills are not based on their thinking process when things are not in crisis mode. Only when they have to face the realization that their actions will yield results that they cannot take back do they become aware of what exactly they would do because then they have to actually do it.

Years ago, I was working for a hotel when we suffered a chemical spill. I was the fourth in charge of a security detail, and the spill took out the director (the number one guy) and the safety director (the number three guy). I had gone down into the spill with them, but I was the only one to realize there was danger because of the first whiff of the chemical, so I grabbed towels from the housekeeping laundry (it was in the laundry room) and started breathing through that. My bosses were not so lucky. The number two person was not on site at the time, so I found myself having to take over a squad of twelve people who had never seen me in action before. Their supervisor, the one who should have been in charge, was in the control room in complete panic mode when I walked in. He couldn't formulate a sentence to give an order to any of his security officers, so I asked the dispatcher if there were any calls that were behind and not part of the crisis, to which there were a few, so I assigned the supervisor to those and took him out of the command loop. From there, I stated issuing orders to everyone to start doing what needed to be done. In about ten minutes, the director of Property Operations (Engineering) realized that Security was actually starting to lock down the system, so he came running into where I was to start coordinating larger events, realizing that we now had a command area where this could be done. In about fifteen minutes, we had saved another five employees who were trapped in the subbasement where the chemical spill took place (it turned out we had to go on a suicide run to the basement where all of the gas masks were stored in Engineering). In the end, we saved a lot of people that day, and what I found interesting was the after effects of the event. The second in command, the one who was not there, started claiming that she had done all of the actions that I did, because no one but me and a few other select people knew what had really happened. I didn't care but knew she was the kind of person to try to take credit for something she didn't do. Anyway, she would have succeeded but the general manager was questioning her and thanking her for her smart thinking in front of the Director of Property Operations who just lost it right then and there, claiming she was never there and that it was all taken care of by Security's investigator, me. Up until that time, the general manager didn't even know who I was. He knew who I was after that.

The point is: People all responded in different ways that were expected. Some of the security officers realized I was in charge and taking care of the situation so they immediately fel in line and started doing everything I said. In moments, I knew who I could count on and who I couldn't. The supervisor I mentioned was a nice guy, but he was not the kind of person who knew how to handle a crisis situation. Unfortunately, he remained in that job for a long time and there were many situations where he was the wrong person to show up at the right time, but those are other stories and for another time.

Stumble It!

The Ongoing Problem with my Job in Korea & Why I'm Leaving

I'd heard of it happening to others who are teachers in Korea, but I never actually thought it would happen to me. When I arrived here, I was coming to a place that was recommended by another debate instructor from the USA. Things started okay during the first few months, and then the job started to go downhill. My job was mainly to teach debate on the weekends and then a few English classes during the week. Being a hagwon job (a private school rather than a public school) one of the advantages is that you don't really have a 9 to 5 type of job where you have to stay at the school when you're not teaching, and everything was generally okay. The kids were cool, and on some days it was a lot of fun.

Fast-forward into about the fourth month and that's when things started to go downhill. First off, the school started making a lot of bad decisions business-wise, and students started dropping off. Then more bad decisions. Then some really bad decisions. And then about the fourth month in, we weren't paid. Then a month or so went by, and we still weren't paid. Then a tiny bit of pay was made up, but we were still far behind. Some good teachers quit (the Korean ones). I was the only foreign teacher, which means I don't have the luxury of quitting because my visa is controlled by the school itself. So I couldn't quit. So I watched as everyone else quit.

Into the sixth month, the boss sold the school to someone else. Pay still hasn't been up to date. Some of us receive a bit of it, but generally we don't receive all of it. Into the seventh month, I didn't get paid at all. As it is, my pay is now 1 and a half months behind, or actually I'm paid up minus 1.5 of my monthly salary, if that makes any sense.

What makes it worse is that the boss is constantly promising to pay on one day, that day arrives, and then nothing happens. Then you can't get a hold of him. And then when you finally do, he acts like nothing happened and then makes promises of when he might be able to pay, often changing the date by the end of the conversation. Two days ago, he promised to pay me (by some bizarre formula he had calculated) on Friday (today). No pay. Then he was called by the new boss who realized I was pissed, and he promised to pay 1 million won (about 1/3 of the amount he owes me). My account received 500,000 won. In other words, he paid me 1/6 of the amount of money he owed me. There's no word when I'll actually get paid.

The new boss decided out of the blue that she doesn't like paying on the 10th, so she's going to be paying on the 20th, but not THIS 20th because she thinks the last month is owed by the previous boss, so she says she'll pay me my next check NEXT month on the 20th. In other words, I will have gone about 3 months without being paid, and then I'll get paid a tiny percentage of the amount I'm supposed to be paid.

So, if anyone wants to know why I've decided to just cut and run, that's why. Unless something drastic happens here, I'm going to take the few dollars I have and just come home to the United States and pretend that Korea never happened. I'm so sick and tired of dealing with this crap on a nonstop basis. It would be one thing if I was in love with some Korean girl here, or I loved the food, or something like that. But none of those factors exist.

And the new boss has hired a manager who seems to like speaking to me like a child. Now, in some contexts that might actually be kind of cool, but right now, I'm not into having a mommy as a supervisor. Remember the one advantage about working only when you have classes to teach? She doesn't like that, and she wants me there every hour that the school is open. You know, if things were a lot better in all sorts of other areas with this school, I might be amicable to something like this. But things suck here right now.

The funny thing is that the mothers of a lot of these students keep requesting that their kids have more classes with me. I'm a pretty good teacher and the kids like me. I make classes informative and interesting. But I'm afraid they're going to lose me because of all of this garbage. And if this keeps working as it has, I have all intentions of jumping ship sometime next week, realizing that I'm never going to get paid anyway. Sure, I'll have to suffer when I get home, and I don't know how I'll actually survive it, but I can't take this anymore. At least if I decide to do something stupid and drastic to my life, I'd at least like to be around people who at least understand me when I decide to do it. Yes, Golden Gate Bridge, I'm thinking of you right now in your big red beauty. Okay, I'm not there yet, but at least I'd like the option of going out someplace close to where I can buy a Wendy's cheeseburger first.

Stumble It!

Most Definitely Going to Be Out of a Job

I had another one of those debate days today where I teach debate to the young Korean kids. It went well, but instead of the boss being there when I finished up (he usually closes up on Sundays), his secretary was there instead. She told me that the boss told her that the business was definitely failing, and that he's probably going to have to shut the whole thing down very soon. I inquired further from her, and she thought we might have a few weeks left before the business is kaput.

I'm not all that surprised. Yes, it does put me in a bad situation, but I've had enough warnings before this that it's not hitting me out of the blue. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do next. All of the schools have already started up in Korea here, so getting a solid job right now is pretty much not going to happen. I'm not even sure how to go about transferring a visa here in the first place, even if I can.

So, chances are pretty good that I'm going to have to book my own flight home and somehow fend for myself when I get home. I don't even know where to go right now. California doesn't seem like a great idea with its job market right now, but nowhere seems like a really great idea with the job market right now.

It's too bad things didn't work out, but it appears they didn't. I just now have to figure out what to do after this so that I can ease myself into the impact rather than have to take it head on.

Stumble It!

Making a Clean Break from Korea

Everytime things seem like they're getting better, something happens that makes things worse. I received my rent notice today in my mail box (my rent is paid by my boss), and when I opened it, something didn't look right. So I took it to one of the Korean teachers and had her translate it completely. Apparently, my boss hasn't been paying my rent for the last few months. The rent is now due for 3 months of rent.

Up until this time, even though there were pay problems, I at least felt secure enough in the fact that I at least had an apartment to get me through this mess. Turns out, that was just wishful thinking. Even though I kept giving the rent notice to the secretary at work, they never paid the rent. There's a really good chance that should they not pay it this month, I'm going to get thrown out of my apartment. Imagine that. In Korea, without an apartment, and pretty much nowhere to go. I can't take another job because this job owns my visa, so my only option will be to go home.

So, I'm seriously considering doing just that. I can't really afford to do this right now, but I'm starting to think that I can't afford not to do it. Things are getting worse here, and even though I like to think things will work out, I'm starting to believe that may not be the case.

The problem is that I don't know where to go. I need to go some place where I can find work. And I don't know where that is. I'm not 18 years old anymore. I need to find something that can actually pay the bills, and right now, I really don't know what to do. I'm open for advice.

Korea is no longer the solution. It just didn't work out here. I can't really go to some other country unless I find a job there first. That's the big problem all around. I don't have a job I can go to, so I don't know where to go.

But I have to do something. Fast.

Stumble It!

Reason #72 Why I Want to Quit This Job

Okay, let's forget the "they don't pay me" part of the equation and just focus on the job itself. My boss, who is generally a pretty nice guy, wants me to write a "debate book". Yeah, a book on debate. I'm not kidding here. He wants an entire book written on debate, authored by me. And imagine it this way: "Duane, a whole week has passed. How come debate book no finish-ee yet?"

Last Wednesday I finally had it and told him there was no way imaginable that I was going to be able to write a debate book for him, especially when I never have any time. He keeps adding classes for me to teach. I'm beyond the max now, and they just added a new "TOEFEL Writing" class for me to start teaching today, keeping me here an hour even longer than I'm normally here. Actually, it's two hours longer than I'm normally here because they creatively took away my usual hour break and put a class in place of that break, figuring I'd probably never notice. When I complained, they stopped speaking English and just nodded a lot, and then printed the schedule just as they planned to do.

I don't think people realize how screwed over I've been in this job since I arrived here. The boss promised me FEWER classes so I could work on "his book". Instead, he added classes, and sure enough, in a few days, after he thinks I've forgotten all about it, he'll want "the book". I'm getting so pissed at this fracking place.

My only real alternative right now is to just cut my losses and leave. I just don't have anywhere to go. I need a job, and I can't find one. I can find hundreds of jobs in South Korea, but I can't take a single one because I'm on a prison visa (at least it feels like it), and for some reason I can't seem to get a single response from any other country. It sometimes feels surreal, but it's happening and so aggravating.

Stumble It!

"You can't leave without giving lots of notice"

Sometimes I think I'm living in a psychological experiment where there are hidden scientists just watching to see how the people around me and I will react to ridiculous stimuli. Here's one I ran into at work. The boss is over 3 weeks late on pay. He keeps promising to pay "tomorrow" and of course never does. One of the Korean teachers finally realized that her landlord doesn't accept "fantasy money" as payment for rent, so she said she was going to have to leave because she needs to have a job where she gets paid. The boss says, "you can't leave because it would be unfair." In other words, he can not pay her, but when she realizes she needs to pay her bills, it is unfair for her to get another job instead.

The job is getting really strange right now. I'm working harder now than I ever have, and I haven't really been paid. My understanding (from rumor) is that the boss sold the school to a well known school administrator who is going to be taking over late in March. But even so, no one has been paid. I've made a few attempts to get "exact" information from the boss, but when I have done so, he's played little games like sneaking out the back entrance to his office and then not showing up for a few days, relaying all messages to his secretary who hasn't been paid either.

Personally, I'm starting to believe I'm going to have to pull a midnight runner (leave without telling anyone) and somehow scrape up the money to buy a ticket to the states and then somehow figure out some way of surviving until I obtain employment again in the states. I've been in contact with people here who have offered me jobs, but they realize they can't hire me because this school pretty much owns me and my visa. My only options right now appear to be:

1. Pulling a runner and somehow surviving until I find a job back in the states.
2. Finding a job in another country.
3. Finding a job in the states before leaving and taking that job.

I applied to the Texas Teaching Fellows program, and I made it past the first stage, but then they informed me that I had to attend an interview. Me being in South Korea makes that impossible, so another option seems to have been drop kicked on me. I'll live, but that seemed like such a better option than trying to fend for myself without any options.

I think the stress is starting to get to me because I've been having trouble breathing lately. I get these weird feelings like I'm stuck in a cage and find it hard to catch my breath. And then it passes. Not really sure how to describe it. All I know is that I need to get out of this stupid situation sooner rather than later.

Stumble It!

What America Needs: A Volkswagen

I was just reading up on how the United States is probably going to be bailing out, again, Chrysler because we don't want to lose more jobs. I'm sorry, but at some point you need to cut the cord and just let the company fail on its own. We're holding up a dying company model because we're afraid of losing jobs, jobs that are designed to create a product that nobody wants to buy. Let's face it. Chrysler stopped making viable cars a long time ago. Even Ford and GM have started to realize they're not as indestructible as they thought they were, and they're starting to make more useful cars (after decades of forcing suvs and mini-tanks down our throats).

So, what's the solution? Let Chrysler fail? Yes, kind of.

We should let Chrysler fail and then buy up the infrastructure used to make their cars. Then nationalize it. And create our own Volkswagen.

You see, back during the era of Nazi Germany, the Germans did one thing right. They invented Volkswagon, a company that was designed to give both jobs and cars to the common people of Germany. It also made military vehicles that they used to run over most of Europe, and but let's just kind of pretend that didn't happen, because not all history has to repeat itself. I mean, if we create a Volkswagen of our own, that doesn't mean we have to run over Canada and Mexico, no matter how appealing those ideas might be. Okay, I don't want to attack Mexico. All right, I don't want to attack Canada either; they're just so much fun to make fun of, even though they are our northern friends. Besides, we'd never be able to live without Canadian bacon.

But I see this as a win-win situation. We could start making our own version of Volkswagen back in the states, in Michigan, right where all those people keep losing their jobs. And the government would own the contracts. And we'd sell the cars, VERY CHEAPLY, to the American people. We could also make nothing but hybrids. Lots of them. And possibly cars that fly, because dammit, we were promised cars that would fly! Oh sorry, kind of getting off topic here.

This proposal would put people back to work, and it would actually benefit Ford and GM because it would force them to compete with a company that's owned by the government. That means they have to be efficient. Nationalizing the post office didn't do away with alternatives. As a matter of fact, FedEx and UPS do quite well on their own, even though they were invented AFTER the post office was nationalized. You could even say they're doing better than the post office. And that would be the goal. To do BETTER than the government, which if you're a Republican that would be a great thing. If you're a Democrat, you can be for this because you like government, and it would be in your best interest to make the government auto industry as efficient as possible.

This would spur competition between government and private industry. As long as we don't get stupid and use government laws to hurt the private industry competition, we might actually grow the competition and both would compete well with each other. And one day, if the Republicans ever figure out what they're doing and stop listening to Rush and Coulter, perhaps they might realize how to spin off the government company, and our Volkswagen company can survive on its own alongside Ford and GM, if they manage to survive themselves.

The business model, as is, isn't working right now. We need to do something to make things happen. We have too many naysayers who complain about everything and no one who wants to do anything to shake things up. We put a new president and party in office to shake things up, so let's do that.

And then we can all take coast trips in our new Volkswagen bug (named something else, obviously for reasons of patent and trademark infringement lawsuits), knowing that we did something to make America better. Anything else would be unpatriotic.

Stumble It!

Those little things in life

Being in South Korea and not being from South Korea often gives one the opportunity to think about a lot of the little things in life, the things that you grew accustomed to but miss now that you no longer have access to them. Lately, for reasons that might be obvious to some, I've been thinking a lot about things that I wish were here but just aren't. Since I can't have them, and quite possibly may never see them again, I thought I'd take a few moments in what may be one of my final posts to talk about some of them.

1. First, diet Dr Pepper. Yep, that beverage is probably my favorite beverage ever. I found I was ocassionally able to find it on the blackmarket here in Itaewon, but other than that, you can't buy it here. You can buy regular Dr Pepper, but I hate regular sugar sodas (or corn syrup sodas, if you buy them back in the states). Finding diet Dr Pepper has been an epic quest all on its own. I finally gave up and just realized I would have to go without. Unfortunately, the closest replacement is Coca Cola Zero, and it tastes a lot like battery acid, without that refreshing battery acid taste.

2. College-ruled lined paper. Never thought I'd miss that. They have paper here that feels like I'm in kindergarten again trying to write for the first time. Why they can't sell mass amounts of regular lined paper, I don't know. Oh, you can buy a notebook with lined paper in it, but loose sheets of paper, which I love to write with can't be found. Or if you do find it, it's really funky looking.

3. Computer software. Unless you're a fan of Starcraft, finding ANY title in Korea is almost impossible. The solution is to buy it online, so you can buy it off of Steam (the Valve network). But if you're not in the USA, Steam doesn't give you anywhere near the selection you can buy there. I've been itching to play Sid Meier's Civilization 4: Colonization ever since I heard about it being released, as I was a huge fan of the old Colonization. Can't get it here. At all. Same thing happens with a lot of software titles. Part of the problem is that so many people in Korea pirate software. But the ones they punish are the ones who would actually pay for the games.

4. Microwave pizza. All you can find are really ridiculous types of pizza that no human should ever eat. Lotte Department stores sells a microwave gourmet cheese pizza that I found for 8,000 won (about $6.50). I bought one. A week later, it was 9,500 won. A week after that, it went to 11,500 won. It's not worth the price. I can buy take out (there's a Pizza Hut a few blocks from me that charges 13,000 won for a tiny cheese pizza, and there's a Pizza School outlet a little further away that charges 7,000 won for a pretty nice sized pizza, except for some reason they put corn in it).

5. Dishwashers. I hate doing dishes. Really hate it. You can't find a dishwasher here. There might be some in some obscure place, but who knows where?

6. DVDs. I mean regular ones that aren't pirated. There's one store in the CoEx mall that sells some tv seasons on dvd, but there are very few selections available. I miss walking into a Best Buy and having every DVD I've ever wanted right there in front of me, AND cheap.

7. English language phones. Preferably an iPhone. I have a cell phone that I can't use other than to receive calls. Can't figure out how to access the net with it. I think you can. Can't figure out how to send a text message because I still have no idea as to what key I press to mimick the space bar. Tried everything. Finally gave up. Also, I receive nonstop spam messages in Korean on this phone. Either someone is trying to advertise some sex service to me, or Jack Bauer is trying to tell me that I have to stop Magabe Buwato from setting off a nuclear explosion in LA. So far there hasn't been a nuclear explosion in LA, so I'm thinking the texts have been about sex services. Sorry, Jack.

8. A heater in English. I still don't understand what settings I have it on. I asked two Korean women I work with to take a look at a scan of my heater console, and they "guessed" that I should turn two nobs on the console, meaning that even if you are able to read the language fluently, you still haven't a clue how to operate the stupid thing.

9. A solid bed. I am using a bed with a mattress that has what feels like spikes sticking out of it. Complained about it. No one cares. Can't figure out how to replace it because even if I had the money to buy a new mattress, NO ONE understands that I need it delivered. Even if I speak in FLUENT KOREAN, they act like I'm speaking Swahili to them. God, I hate this stupid language. And I hate their beds. Or at least this one.

10. Eggo syrup. They sell Eggo Waffles at Costco. Not syrup. Not sure why. The syrup is Korea was designed by some evil criminal mastermind who uses it to keep his soldiers in line ("if you do not do as I say, I will make you consume the Korean syrup from Emart").

11. A TV guide that actually explains what's on Korean television. Instead, you get a remote control and about 200 or so channels to continuously click through, knowing you'll never find anything to watch because 40 percent of the channels don't register.

Anyway, that's my rant for right now. As I'm now 2 weeks and a day into not having been paid, AND having to work....

Stumble It!

Living in a life of uncertainty

One thing people tend to know about me is that I like things to be quite conservative. I don't mean politically. I mean so that my Tuesday seems a lot like my Monday. Stability is good. Anarchy, except as a conceptual government, is not.

Anarchy has been the state of things lately. When I arrived to South Korea, I had medical problems I couldn't control. Lots of anarchy. Finally got it all under control. Conservative again. Anarchy defeated.

Then the economy went kind of nuts. Lots of future anarchy. Thought I'd just ride it out and worry about those sorts of things when I get back to the states. Well, that never really works. So now I'm having to deal with it.

Haven't been paid in two weeks now. In other words, pay is two weeks late. Keep being promised a paycheck, but that's all I have received: Promises. The other staff receives the same guarantees. Everyone is somewhat on edge. No one is really upset at each other, but everyone is frustrated and thinking about jumping ship. People are looking for new jobs. Everyone except for me.

Why not me? Well, because I can't. I'm here on an E2 visa, which means that I am obligated to the company that sponsored me, even if that company has no money to pay me. I can't just up and take another job here. My only real option is to somehow convince by boss that he's not going to ever salvage his business and give me a letter of release, and then I can theoretically look for another job. Theoretically. Immigration changes its mind on this twice a day. And that also has a lot to do with which person in immigration you talk to. NOTHING is standardized here. There is no certainty. Just organized anarchy. Not good.

So, my other option available is to leave the country. That sucks big time because I don't have a job lined up anywhere. The US is going through crap right now, so there's lots of economical anarchy there. I'd be leaving a bad situation to a horrible situation. At least I have a home right now. Well, for the moment. Next month, who knows what I'll have.

I could go to another country, but that requires finding a job there. The visa application processes for most countries takes months. You don't just jump on a plane and start a job. Getting to Korea was a nightmare of a process. Going somewhere else would just be that much more difficult.

So, I'm sort of sitting here wondering if things are going to get better. I don't know. I have no idea. I can't plan for anything. And I can't do anything about my situation to make things better. I have a hard enough time holding a conversation with the clerk at the convenient store where I buy food. A few weeks ago, THAT was my difficulty. Now, it's gotten much worse, and I'm trudging through, hoping things get better. If not, who knows what will happen?

Stumble It!

The day before Christmas and you wouldn't know it being here

The snow
I walked to E-mart yesterday, and it was really the first time I've had time to go anywhere other than work lately. It was then that I realized there was snow and ice on the streets. It wasn't like full-blown snow, but it was obviously white and it was all over the place. I was told by any number of Koreans that it didn't snow in Seoul. I think I have just experienced another one of those inexplicable lies that people say for no reason whatsoever. I sometimes feel like Korea is an entire country made up of patholical liars, because honestly, what would have been lost to have said "Yes, Duane, every now and then snow does touch the ground of Seoul." Is this some kind of pride thing, which is the reason behind most of Korea's lies? Are they afraid I won't appreciate Seoul more if it ever snows here? Is this the first time EVER that snow has appeared here? I seriously doubt that last one. Still, people told me it never snows here. I'm not sure why, but that's what a lot of people have said.

iTunes
Sometimes, this service really pisses me off. It's expensive to buy things from there, yet sometimes it's your only way of getting access to the things you want. I downloaded two tv shows yesterday (Sarah Connor Chronicles) and it cost me $4 total. Not much, but that sort of money adds up. What really bugs me about this is that this is a one-time download. It's ONLY on my current computer, meaning that if I ever wanted to see those tv shows again and had my main computer, I'd have to buy them again. This was a problem for me when I came here and had my laptop. I had a bunch of music from iTunes on my old computer, but I had to buy the same music again, because they charge per download, not per account. I use Steam, which is a game resource from the company that makes the very popular game Half Life. I ordered a game from there the other day called Titan Quest. Turns out, it doesn't run so well on my laptop, but when I get my main computer hooked up again, I can download it for free because I bought it on my account, not just for one computer. That's where Apple pisses me off. They're so pretentious about how great they are, but it's all about the money, and customers come second to them.

Health
I'm continuing to feel better. I can pretty much see normal now. I've been having serious problems sleeping, and I've been taking a sleeping pill (over the counter type) to compensate. I ran out the other night (I don't take it every day, but every other day or so), so I went to a Korean Yak (pharmacy), the one where I first bought it, and it was a Sunday. They said they were out of all types of sleep medication. At least I think that's what they said. They pointed and shrugged shoulders a lot, so I can only guess that was what they were saying. Fortunately, yesterday, I found a new Yak close to me, and I bought two packages of the same product. I slept really well last night, although I had a pretty hard time getting on with my day as that stuff generally knocks you completely out.

Work
We're starting up a new group of students here, and I'm not really sure what my teaching schedule is, although it does appear to be kind of sparse. I find myself highly under-utilized here, and I don't really mnd it, but it does seem to be a normal thing here. I believe I'll be teaching one or two classes a day (who knows?), but the content of the classes is somewhat unknown to me, and again, I have a strong feeling I'm going to find out the exact content about an hour before I teach my first class. I'm teaching writing, but that could mean anything here. I think I'm supposed to teach based on the previous teacher's lesson that day, which means I'm not going to find out what she's teaching until she finally actually comes out and reveals it to me, something that rarely happens, even if you ask directly. Instead, they'll tell you it doesn't snow here.

But the job isn't bad, and it's kind of nice to be taking a break from the rest of where my life was going some months ago. I'm glad school is over, even though I have no idea if I graduated because here it is December 24th, and University of the Pacific has yet to post that I've graduated. I keep checking on my unofficial transcripts, and they keep listing me as a continuing student. I have this sneaking suspicion that they're going to screw this up yet another semester, which makes my job prospects crappy again. The administration of the university (not my department) is really dysfunctional and seems to work against the students rather than for them. You'd think that wouldn't be the case, but it certainly is.

Random Notes
I'm really looking forward to getting my desktop computer here. I've really missed it. It's been like living a temporary life where my real life is completely on hold, and that really shouldn't be the case. I'm here and now, which means this is my real life. It just seems like I'm holding space until the rest of my life catches up with me.

I have Christmas off, but only because it's my weekend day off. If it wasn't I'd probably have an additional day off, so I'll end up just getting my weekend day off instead. It would have been nice to have an extra day off, but the schedule didn't work out that way. The same thing is going to happen for New Year's Day, because it falls on the day exactly a week after Christmas. People in Korea really don't celebrate Christmas all that much because they really don't have the incentive to do so. It's become entirely commercial in both Korea and the United States, and the economy is horrid in Korea right now, so people aren't interested in spending money.

Stumble It!

An update from the depths of Hell...I mean Korea

It's sometimes hard to figure out if I like it here or really just hate it. I find myself wishing I was home a lot, or wishing I was anywhere else but here. If I had the choice to do it all over again, I would never have come here. There are just so many things that are screwed up, and it gets really frustrating.

Example: Today, I was informed that the "government" will not give me my medication that was sent to me from the states without me having a prescription for my medication to present to them. I don't have a prescription because it's my medication from the states, being sent here because I forgot to bring it. There's no grey area. No prescription, no medication. I guess they think I'm trying to smuggle in weed or something, even though it's in pill form and comes in bottles marked as the appropriate medication that it actually is. An easy Internet search (looking up the medication will show you it IS the medication claimed) could be conducted, but they are "too busy" for that. So I guess my medication is going to be thrown out instead of delivered to me. Another reason I hate this place.

I can't even do simple little things that I might enjoy, like play the new Sid Meier's Civilization IV: Colonization. I can't play it because if you don't live in North America, no one will sell it to you. You can't even download it anywhere because they've blocked off South Korea for distribution. I was able to buy a game I really didn't want called Titan Quest, but it doesn't work properly on my laptop, so that was yet another waste of money for something I don't even get any pleasure from.

My writing career sucks being here. I can't send out queries unless the agent takes email queries, but when you email an agent, they don't take you seriously and just delete your emails for the most part. I can't send in short stories because mailing to the states is inappropriately overpriced. So, I can write, but that's about it.

The food. I can't stand most of it. I have a hard time going to a supermarket here because when I get into the meat section, the aroma nearly causes me to vomit. Did I mention that I really hate it here?

The people I work with are okay, but they have a really bad habit of speaking only in Korean and then wondering why I never know what's going on. Today was a good example of that. We lost one of our teachers (he quit a few days ago) so I had to take over his class on English writing. I found this out today, about an hour before class. The head teacher asked me how come I didn't have a lesson plan already made up (an hour before class). I said I just found out about the class. She said that everyone knew, and how come I didn't? Yeah, that's the kind of thing that really causes one to sit up and hate where they're at.

And medically, I'm really having some problems here. I have a condition I can't seem to fix, and if it's as bad as I think it is, I've been living with an imminent heart attack coming at any time for about the last three weeks now. No one seems to understand the significance of needing to get medical coverage taken care of, mainly because it's not happening to them and, in the words of one very sensitive Korean: "You haven't had a heart attack yet, so you're fine."

On the positive side, I bought a really nice 22 inch flat screen LCD monitor for my computer for the equivalent of 22 beads and trinkets (about $140). So I hope someone gets some great use out of it after I collapse on one of these upcoming days.

I also read a really good science fiction book called Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. I'm now reading the next Cliff Janeway novel by John Dunning.

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Paperwork and red tape really sucks

I'm having a lot of trouble getting past one hurdle of the application process for Korea, and that's the background investigation. Stockton Police Department states they don't actually do it, that such a thing is initiated by employers, and they don't do background investigations for people who request them. Called Lodi Police Department, and I got pretty much the same reaction. So, I'm not really sure what to do here.

At the same time, I ended up having a telephonic interview with Missouri (Truman State University), and that went really well. It doesn't pay anywhere near what I want to even really consider it, but with this red tape situation with Korea, it may actually force me to seriously consider it. They are well aware that money is a concern for me with what they normally offer for a one year, temporary position, so if they end up increasing that amount, it would be hard NOT to keep it a consideration.

But I'm anxious to go to Korea. But being anxious doesn't mean anything if I can't actually finish the paperwork to actually be able to go.

At the moment, I'm still completing the paperwork preparation for Korea (having to drive to San Francisco to get official transcripts from my undergraduate institution...apparently they don't care about the master's degrees when it comes to paperwork). If I can somehow get past the background information part of the application process, my paperwork will be essentially complete. Already did the rest, including passport, passport photos and all that.

Anyway, trying to move forward....

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Starting to think about tying up loose ends

It looks very much like I'm going to be moving to Korea. Nothing else came through for me, and they definitely are offering me the position. I was told that the contract would be Fedex'd to me in the next few days (or sent by carrier pigeon...who knows), and then I can actually start working on getting the Korean E2 visa paperwork completed.

I'm going in for surgery next week for the shoulder manipulation. We've been kind of waiting a long time for this, but hopefully this will give me a lot more mobility with the arms and make it so it doesn't hurt so much on a constant basis.

Finally received my thesis back to go over one last time. It looks like once I have these fixes completed, it should be ready to send out to the three professors, and then we'll go into defense mode. I was getting really concerned about this because if it didn't happen soon, I realized I was probably going to be leaving for Korea in a little more than a month, so the defense might never come because I just won't be in the country anymore.

Been doing a lot of playing of Tabula Rasa lately. I have to admit that the game is pretty solid, and it's so much more interesting than World of Warcraft. Sure, it has a lot of flaws to it, but it's completely different than everything else that is out there, so it definitely serves to pass the time in a fun way. Plus, the one thing it has that almost NONE of the other games have is a great, solid backstory that weaves itself through the game. Most other games tend to have a backstory that is just that: A story in the background. This story is very much at the front of the game, and as you play the game you find yourself involved in the story line, which is pretty rare. There were some signs of that in Lord of the Rings Online, but most people knew the general story, yet it was pretty well done in how they incorporated the regular folk into an epic story that is really about a few dozen people. Tabula Rasa becomes one of those stories where the individual is more important than a few key players in the story line and that is both welcome and rare.

A negative, however, is a really, REALLY cheesy publicity campaign that is being used by the people who run Tabula Rasa to link Richard Garriott (the guy who designed the game) and his upcoming space tourist flight he is going to be taking. They've decided to integrate the real world space flight Garriott is taking and turned it into one of the cheesiest publicity campaigns of all time. I think the actual campaign claims that RG is going to space to "save humanity" from the evil bane (the creatures attacking in Tabula Rasa), and that somehow they're going to bring a data disk of the DNA of people playing the game. Yeah, really cheesy. I'm kind of embarrassed to be affiliated with the public relations part of a game I'm enjoying so much. The way I figure it: Go to space and have fun because you're a freaking multi-millionaire who lives in a castle in Austin, Texas. Don't pretend you're saving humanity in a computer game you've created, because even though you have a lot of geek cred, there's a point where geek cred stops being an asset and becomes a serious loser liability.

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Way overdue for an update

I realize it has been over a month now since I last added an entry, so I figured I'd just kind of recap what's going on.

1. No real job so far on the horizon. I've been trying, and I have not been very successful. I keep ending up as the "second choice" of colleges, but never the first choice. San Francisco State went with one person over me. Casper College went with the other person over me. Pacific University in Oregon went with the other person over me. They often call me to tell me that they wished they could have chosen me, but in the end, they didn't choose me. My prospects are looking really dim these days. I almost got Hillsdale College, and I probably would have got it, but I had problems with my flight, so they ended up having to give it to one of the other people who actually showed up for the official interview in Michigan. I don't really know what to do at this point. I'm not finding any success, and it's almost August now.

2. Working temporarily. I'm working for EF, which is an English teaching school that works through the University of Phoenix. It is one of those jobs that lasts only a month, and by the end of this week, I'll be completely unemployed again. Before that, I was working a temporary month or so job with the county as an election trainer. That, too, ended, so little by little my little gigs are drying up.

3. Overseas might be my only hope. I'm currently looking into working in South Korea, teaching English or debate. We'll see how that turns out.

4. My computer stopped working last week. Apparently, my power supply decided to stop working, or blew itself out. I had to take my computer to a shop to actually get it repaired. To be honest, even though I've been a computer technician before, I misdiagnosed my own computer and didn't realize it was something as simple as a bad power supply. So, I replaced that and added another gig of ram to my computer (bringing it up to 3 gigs of ram). Cost me $200 that I didn't really have, but what can I say?

5. My writing hasn't been going very well lately. I am at one of those stages in my writing where I have a novel formulating in my head, but it's not ready to come out yet. This happens to me a lot with my novels. Unfortunately, it leaves me wanting to write, but not feeling comfortable enough to write yet. I have a working title of this next project that seems to be around the corner, entitled: She Talks to Penguins. Believe it or not, it's actually a very serious project, and something a bit different from what I've tried to tackle in the past. Considering I've tackled adventure, suspense, science fiction, fantasy, epic comedy and romance, this is more of a slice of life kind of novel, which I never actually imagined I would be writing. I guess it is more consistent with some of my recent work, which included my short story "Simple Girl" that took second place from the Stockton Arts Commission this summer; for the record, my romance story, "Buried Memories," took first place from the Stockton Arts Commission the year before. "Simple Girl" was more of a moralistic type of story about a stereotyped girl who everyone seems to ridicule behind her back, but in the end she was really the wisest character in the story.

6. Relationships. None. That's never really changed. I had a conversation with Kat yesterday when we went out for a beer at BJ's, and we talked about that same subject. I guess I don't really know what it is I'm looking for these days. In the past, I was involved with some pretty strange women, dating anything from a crazy girl from Hong Kong who desired to kill everyone in the human race, fondly referring to me in a loving manner as "the last victim"; a professional dominatrix who didn't understand why men found her so intimidating; a seriously toxic semi-supermodel who used to leave the table after we eat to vomit up everything she just chowed down; several best friends with whom I may have or may not have been actually dating at the time (just couldn't figure it out and blatantly asking just gave me vague replies); a couple of 18-20 year olds, who put out airs that they were much more mature for their age until we started dating and then suddenly they were really 18-20 year olds in maturity as well; and well, a couple of others that were great but just weren't either looking for me, or not there when I was finally looking for them.

So, we somewhat concluded, or at least I did, that I'm looking for someone intelligent who can stimulate me intellectually. I don't find myself looking for the same thing other men are looking for. Sure, an attractive woman is great, and I'll spend an eternity looking at a beautiful woman (Shania Twain, I'm looking at you right now...), but there has to be more to it than that. And that's so hard to find because I think too many women are socially stigmatized by what other men are seeking that they're all convinced that most men are interested in them only for sex. And that bad disposition gets reinforced by bad choices they make in trying to find that guy who is "just like you but not you".

There have been a couple of women who have come along but they're just not interested in me, or in a relationship at the moment. Some of them have been perfect for me, and I felt I would be perfect for them. But those relationships have remained strictly friendships because they're seeking someone else, even though I sometimes suspect that they don't know what they're seeking either. What's funny is that no matter where I go, and I do go numerous places in my life, I always end up with at least one or two really close female friends who are never interested in anything beyond friendship. And my jury is still out as to whether or not that is a good or a bad thing.

7. The Shoulder. It still hurts. I can barely move my arm still, and the pain has actually spread to my right shoulder as well, so I have little full mobility, and it hurts when I try to stretch my arms behind my back, like when I try to put a belt on my pants. With that said, the pain has become lessened somewhat, and I do feel that I've been able to get a bit more sleep at night than I use to. I am heading in for a surgery consultation this afternoon, and then in August I'll actually have the surgery itself, where they stretch the shoulder into a position and then supposedly, that "fixes" the problem of "frozen shoulder". I'm hoping so because it's been over a year, and this situation has really sucked a lot.

8. Tabula Rasa. It means "clean slate" but it's also the name of the game I've been playing religiously with the spare time that I have every day. It's an online game, like World of Warcraft, but it's so much not like World of Warcraft. And that's what I was seeking: Something NOT World of Warcraft. The premise is that the Earth has been conquered by an alien race called the Thrax (or the Bane), and we've regrouped on other planets where we're trying to win back our freedom from Bane oppression. It's so much different than other games I've played, and it actually feels like you accomplish something when you play. Plus, the important thing for me, is that it has a very rich story interwoven into the fabric of the game. That's rare. The game was designed by the creator of Ultima (and Ultima Online), Richard Garriott. Great game. I highly recommend it.

9. The Thesis. My second draft was given to Marlin almost two weeks ago. I haven't heard back on it. It's 115 pages approximately, so I can see why it would take some time to read through and correct it. I'm hoping there's not much more to do, because I really want this over and done with. I've been in school way too long. Plus, I need the stupid degree so I can show that I have something in return for the two years I spent here at the University of the Pacific.

That's pretty much it for now. Wish I had more to add, but that's a mouthful alone.

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The job front and other scary things

For the record, the job hunting isn't going very well. I really should have been able to find a teaching job after graduation, but nothing seems to be opening or on the horizon for me. Instead, I'm constantly being "told" to lower my expectations. It's like being promised a new world of great opportunities, but when it comes time to bathe in those opportunities, nothing happens. Instead, I have the same job prospects now that I had before I went further into debt to add another master's degree to my resume.

I really kind of suspected something like this was going to happen more than a year ago, especially when last year was so hard for me to find a job during the summer. I was looking for full time jobs that would continue beyond the master's degree, and I found nothing. I didn't even get a single interview during that time. Well, I got one interview, but it literally led nowhere.

Instead, I kept getting responses of "you should lower your expectations", which equates to settling for a manager's job at McDonald's rather than a community college teaching job. To be honest, I don't think I'd get the manager's job at McDonald's either; my only solace is knowing that because I haven't fallen as low to apply to it that it means I don't have to back up that theory.

What really burns me is that I'm in no different boat today than I was before I went back to school. I actually had a job when I was in Michigan, and I was lucky to get even that. I've been convinced that most jobs are obtained by knowing people, and that's literally how I got that job. Human Resources gave me a "thanks for applying, but no" letter before my friend pulled the application FROM Human Resources to offer me the position. So far, most of the community college jobs have not gotten past Human Resources, and even my friends in those colleges indicate that there's little they can do.

Yeah, I have a temporary job to last me the next month, but then I'm pretty much screwed. I really don't know what to do after that. I'm applying for everything I can find, but I don't have any time to do anything. Other people keep placing "requirements" on me because they need things done, and I end up with each day passing with me being no closer to taking care of myself at all. Yeah, I'm going to be screwed in about a month. Until then, I'm working a pretty dorky job that I really don't want to be working, but I don't really have much of a choice concerning. I can't figure out how to get a real job.

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Drama for the sake of drama

I'm currently working a temporary job with the Registrar of Voters. It seems that no matter where I look in this job, I see nothing but drama. We have drama queens we work with, drama queens who are on the periphery of where we work, and then outright drama for the sake of drama. What I mean by this last part is that we have situations that have been created just to be dramatic.

Example: We don't know how much we get paid. Or when. Or by whom. The one place that one would assume we get paid by indicates that we're supposed to be paid by the university. The university says that it's not this department in the university but this other one. That other department says it's not that department but actually the Registrar of Voters. So, we're told to continue working, because obviously we'll be paid. By someone. Sometime. For some amount of money.

In these bureaucratic environments, this guy doesn't like this other guy who doesn't like this other guy. One other person likes this other person, but doesn't like this other person because he or she is friends with yet another person. This person has a certain amount of information about pay, but he or she doesn't want to reveal it because that would mean revealing "important" information. It's like playing Poker with Machiavelli and M.C. Escher in Section 31 of Kafka's castle.

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Ever have one of those weeks you just wish you would have stayed in bed

Not only stay in bed, but blockade the doorway, turn off all electricity and disappear from the rest of the world? Yeah, that's kind of how my week has been.

As I already pointed out, I spent a few days in Wyoming and put on a teaching demonstration that I really felt went really well. And yesterday, I found out I didn't get the job. It was between me and one other person. And I lost to that other person.

But I was given a bit of a branch to hold onto because I was told through a friend who spoke to the person who makes such decisions that I was going to be granted an interview with Sacramento City. I was kind of expecting that because they actually approached me and asked me to fill out an application. Received a notice today from them stating: "Thanks for applying but you pretty much didn't make the cut." I can't even get an interview from a school that asked me to apply. How's that for self-confidence?

Another school I've been told to apply to by that school hasn't contacted me at all. I'm starting to suspect it's going to be the same as Sacramento. Another school that I'm being told to apply to is making it really difficult to apply to because nowhere on their site can I actually find their application that has to be part of the "application packet". All of their links are internal links, meaning you have to already be a part of that administration before you can actually apply for a job within that administration. I'm sure there's some simple way to do it, but I, for the life of me, can't figure it out.

I'm starting to run out of money, and I don't have anything lined up for work. It's already starting to feel like this is going to be a repeat of last summer (one of my worst ever), except this time I don't actually have a goal to look forward to in the fall (like school). I've been applying for numerous jobs, and much like last year, I can't even seem to get a response.

No, I'm not really happy about my prospects right now, and I'm slowly moving back to my "plan" I had before summer ended last year. I really don't intend to go through another summer like that again.

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I didn't get Wyoming

They gave the position to the other person in the running for it. So, it didn't go to me.

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The Fantasy That Keeps On Fibbing

I don't know about you, but I seem to get these emails and letters asking me if I like to play computer games; the follow-up is that I should then pursue the "lucrative" career of being a computer game designer (or some other job in the computer gaming field). There are some distinct fantasy errors that are present in these advertisements, and their omission drives me batty.

1. Most computer game people don't make a lot of money. Sure, some do. Most don't. For the most part, you end up being a cog in the wheel that gets crap for ridiculous hours and the job security is really, really not there. They fire you for ANYTHING in this business.

2. You MAKE computer games, not PLAY computer games. There's a big difference. Playing computer games is LOTS of fun. Making them is not. If you're a coder, you stare at computer code the entire time and wonder why Skippy the avatar bleeds colors every time he comes in contact with the evil death ball (or whatever). Or you can do one of my favorite jobs: Fix the irrigation system in Sim City. Yeah, that was fun. Or you can test games where you get to drive around a track 897,083,281 times trying to figure out why you fell into the sky on one of your turns that you can't duplicate no matter how many times you try to do so.

3. The designer jobs are easy to get. Right. There are people who have been part of the computer gaming world their entire lives who have not broken that ceiling. Good luck.

4. Some fly by night school is going to give you the tools to "make it" in the computer gaming field. Probably not. But you will spend a GREAT DEAL of money thinking it will.

5. Girls dig guys who make computer games. Okay, that one's true. I mean, nothing says sexy like "geek with computer".

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Job interview in Wyoming went well

It was my first academic job interview, so obviously I was nervous. But I think it went well. I didn't throw up on anyone, and no one died during my teaching demonstration. Well, one person, but it wasn't because of the teaching demonstration. Damn Wyoming ninjas and their blood feuds!

Everyone was pleasant. Found out the money was better than originally quoted.

Now, I'm just waiting to hear from them. Hopefully, it's good news. Either way, it was good experience.

The traveling, however, took a lot out of me. Nothing bad happened, but my itinerary consisted of driving to Sacramento, taking a plane to San Francisco, taking a plane to Denver, Colorado, getting a rental car (upgraded to a SUV! Thanks, Budget Rent aCar!), driving 5 hours to Casper, Wyoming, sleeping, doing the whole job interview and teaching demonstration thing, driving 5 hours back to Denver, Colorado, taking a plane to Sacramento (with a very nice woman who works for the military, whose husband is in the military, and whose kid made it very difficult to sit in the window seat with him jumping up and down on me, but hey, it happens), and driving back home to Stockton. Fun fun fun.

Anyway, there was this restaurant they took me to for lunch, and let's just say that if I end up moving to Casper, Wyoming, it might be my new Carl's Jr (my every morning eating place). It's called Eggs(something), and it's a medium scale restaurant, and I can have breakfast at all times of the day. Woohoo! Okay, maybe I'm just tired from the trip.

Anyhoos. Back home now. Have to work on a paper Kat and I are finishing so I can present it for us tomorrow at the Gender and Science Conference (she can't attend because she's at a debate tournament in Denver); I even flew out on the same flight as them Wednesday. Then I have to start putting real behind to chair as I start to write my thesis proposal. It needs to be done yesterday rather than tomorrow.

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The job search is really frustrating

I had this same feeling last summer when I started looking for a job for the summer break and found absolutely nothing. Well, I'm graduating from Pacific University, and I'm going to now hold two master's degrees, and already I'm starting to feel that sense of despair that comes from searching for an elusive job. Granted, I have one job interview lined up for the end of this month in Wyoming, but the schools I really wanted haven't contacted me, and the whole feeling just leaves me feeling worse and worse each day. There's a constant state of anxiety when you have no idea how you're going to be able to survive once school is finished, and it just continues to build with each day that finding a job becomes that much more frustrating. Even the jobs I've applied of which I am completely qualified haven't even given me the time of day. With this whole spring break week off from the daily school grind, I kind of thought one of these jobs would contact me, but nothing.

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Foreign Service Officer's Test and ending friendships

I took the Foreign Service Officer's Test for the State Department today. It was not a very difficult exam, although there are a lot of questions that cause one to have to think hard, especially if it's some historical event or economic theory that one does not remember. In all, the test did not take me that long to complete, but it's one of those that leaves you exhausted after you finish it.

I sent off three of my writing works to the Stockton Arts Commission today after I returned home. It's the same contest I won last year with my short story romance, "Buried Memories". I sent a short story called "Simple Girl", about a young woman everyone considers "simple" but ends up being the smartest person in town; it's more detailed than that, but that's the "simple" version of it. I also sent an article I wrote called "Stealing Humanity", and a poem I wrote called "Sleeping America." We'll see what happens.

Had a weird verbal altercation with a friend this evening that just kept pissing me off in the sanctimonious way he kept responding in our conversation. It was one of those "I can never be wrong, so I'm going to fight for each word of a sentence, even though it serves no purpose but piss off the other person" so I kicked him out of my house. If he needs to be "right", he can be "right" all the time he wants. It just won't be as my friend any more.

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First college interview

I received my first interview request today for Casper College in Wyoming. We set it up for March 27th. There appears to be one other person they are considering for the communication/Director of Forensics job.

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Public Utilities Commission

I have a job interview tomorrow with San Francisco's Public Utilities Commission as a regulatory analyst. To be honest, I'm not expecting that I'll get the job as my experience with government jobs has never really been all that successful. The PUC itself is also going through a lot of political upheaval in San Francisco as well, so I can already tell that I won't fit into that mold of what's going on there. I've been half tempted to not even go to the interview because it feels like a waste of time, but I'm pretty sure I'll go through with it.

Anyway.

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Applied to the State Department today

This was an interesting application process. The funny thing about it is was an essay section towards the end. They give you a bunch of questions about how have you responded to some type of situation, and then asks you to put someone's name in to verify the information. Some of the "adverse" situations I have a LOT of experience in, but it dawned on me that a lot of the contacts and situations are classified. I can't really mention them. So, as I started looking into my recent dates for "adverse" situations, I found I don't really have any to respond to. I haven't jumped into any burning buildings, or had a knife fight with Osama Bin Laden lately, while saving Paris from nuclear terrorism. The city. I'm not sure I'd go out of my way for the celebrity Paris.

So, I ended up having to put something like "my car broke down once". Yeah, that's really impressive, isn't it? I never realized how boring my life is recently.

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Weird teaching schedule this semester

Aside from usual debate practices, I'll be teaching a public speaking discussion section from 7:00pm to 8:20pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Haven't taught an evening class before, so this should be a bit different. It also clashes with debate times, so that will be a bit inconvenient, but in the end it should all work out.

I'm starting to actively look for a job now. I'd like to line something up LONG before I have to actually start a job, and let's just say that this isn't the easiest thing to do. I've been considering teaching overseas just for the fun of it, but that's still very much up in the air right now. I was thinking of starting paperwork for the State Department, but it's one of those long drawn out processes of paperwork that is designed to keep people from wanting to apply, so we'll see.

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Public servants and "needed" raises

One of my favorite arguments about why public employee executives deserve raises is that they are highly sought after by the private sector and without raises we can't keep such "great" people. This is really crap and an aristocratic, ridiculous argument. These jobs are highly sought after by very qualified people, and quite often it's more about who you know rather than about what you know that gets you one of these jobs. Once entrenched in their own worlds and fiefdoms, they argue about how the system is so lucky to have them pushing paper when they might push paper somewhere else for much more money. I say let them pursue that outside, private job and save these jobs for the people who keep trying to enter the public sector of government jobs but are constantly looked over because they're not already part of the establishment.

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The Bad State of Conversations in America

People aren't having real conversations anymore. It used to be that one person would talk, the other person would listen and then respond to what the first person said. Rinse and repeat. Today, you might think you're having a conversation with someone, but I urge you to pay closer attention to what is going on. Chances are: During the listening stage, people are more interested in finding an opening in the other person's speech so they can speak rather than actually be focused on listening to the other person.

Recently, I inquired about joining the National Guard. The only reason I didn't end up joining was because the recruiter couldn't guarantee I wouldn't be activated full time and sent over to Iraq or Afghanistan BEFORE I finished my last year in graduate school. This recruiter keeps calling me every few weeks, as if we're ready to move to the next step, conveniently "forgetting" our one sticking point. When I remind him, he talks around it until he realizes I'm not going to allow him to change the subject. So he hangs up and calls back two weeks later, as if we're "over" the reason why I won't join.

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