Trip to the Emergency Room

Yesterday was an interesting day. I've mentioned before (I think) that I've been having flu-like symptoms, but I don't have the flu. My sight has been really blurry lately, and I thought maybe I needed reading glasses. Not really sure what was wrong, I went into Kaiser yesterday to do two things: One, get my normal blood work testing done (which has been awhile) and to see a nurse about the dizziness I've been feeling lately. They told me that all of my vitals were completely normal, and to call if something else occurred to make me feel like I'm sick again (even though I did tell them that I was still having the symptoms right then and there). But they're the experts, so I figured there was nothing really wrong.

That evening, about 10pm, the police dispatched two officers to my house. They told me that Kaiser needed me to go to the Emergency Room immediately. I called Kaiser's number, and they repeated the statement: Go to the emergency room now!

So, I drove to Dameran Hospital (not sure of spelling) and visited their emergency room. After some testing (same testing I had previously in the day), they determined that I needed to be admitted immedately. They spent the next six or so hours giving me all sorts of IV medications to reduce my potassium levels.

I ended up finishing with the ER at 5:30am, and I was able to drive home. I just woke up a few minutes ago (5:30pm). My stomach is a lot uneasy this evening, but I can actually read what I'm typing, so that has to be a good sign.

I'm not looking forward to the bill that's sure to come due for this whole circumstances, but right now I'm just glad that everything turned out okay. I can't believe that when I was on the phone with Kaiser that I was debating going to the Emergency Room based on how much it might cost me financially in the future. I wonder how many others end up in that same situation and through destitution decide not to go, and then die.

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Don't tell anybody, but I think I've become a Vegan

It's not that I hate meat or anything. I just discovered it's kind of killing me. So, I've started to stock up on mainly Vegan foods. I think they're Vegan. I never really did figure out the difference between vegetarian and vegan, so cut me some slack. Instead of my Philly Cheesesteak for dinner, I had split pea soup, a banana and some grapes. I did some grocery shopping today and bought mainly vegetables and fruit. Couldn't believe how much food has animal products in it, cheese or various types of milk.

So does going Vegan mean I have to become a liberal? And do I have to take up smoking, too, because I use to see nothing but smoking Vegans when I lived in San Francisco? Part of the "allowable" foods was beans, lots of different types of beans. I'm not ready to go there yet. I can't stand beans, and I might just starve first.

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Starting to think about tying up loose ends

It looks very much like I'm going to be moving to Korea. Nothing else came through for me, and they definitely are offering me the position. I was told that the contract would be Fedex'd to me in the next few days (or sent by carrier pigeon...who knows), and then I can actually start working on getting the Korean E2 visa paperwork completed.

I'm going in for surgery next week for the shoulder manipulation. We've been kind of waiting a long time for this, but hopefully this will give me a lot more mobility with the arms and make it so it doesn't hurt so much on a constant basis.

Finally received my thesis back to go over one last time. It looks like once I have these fixes completed, it should be ready to send out to the three professors, and then we'll go into defense mode. I was getting really concerned about this because if it didn't happen soon, I realized I was probably going to be leaving for Korea in a little more than a month, so the defense might never come because I just won't be in the country anymore.

Been doing a lot of playing of Tabula Rasa lately. I have to admit that the game is pretty solid, and it's so much more interesting than World of Warcraft. Sure, it has a lot of flaws to it, but it's completely different than everything else that is out there, so it definitely serves to pass the time in a fun way. Plus, the one thing it has that almost NONE of the other games have is a great, solid backstory that weaves itself through the game. Most other games tend to have a backstory that is just that: A story in the background. This story is very much at the front of the game, and as you play the game you find yourself involved in the story line, which is pretty rare. There were some signs of that in Lord of the Rings Online, but most people knew the general story, yet it was pretty well done in how they incorporated the regular folk into an epic story that is really about a few dozen people. Tabula Rasa becomes one of those stories where the individual is more important than a few key players in the story line and that is both welcome and rare.

A negative, however, is a really, REALLY cheesy publicity campaign that is being used by the people who run Tabula Rasa to link Richard Garriott (the guy who designed the game) and his upcoming space tourist flight he is going to be taking. They've decided to integrate the real world space flight Garriott is taking and turned it into one of the cheesiest publicity campaigns of all time. I think the actual campaign claims that RG is going to space to "save humanity" from the evil bane (the creatures attacking in Tabula Rasa), and that somehow they're going to bring a data disk of the DNA of people playing the game. Yeah, really cheesy. I'm kind of embarrassed to be affiliated with the public relations part of a game I'm enjoying so much. The way I figure it: Go to space and have fun because you're a freaking multi-millionaire who lives in a castle in Austin, Texas. Don't pretend you're saving humanity in a computer game you've created, because even though you have a lot of geek cred, there's a point where geek cred stops being an asset and becomes a serious loser liability.

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Way overdue for an update

I realize it has been over a month now since I last added an entry, so I figured I'd just kind of recap what's going on.

1. No real job so far on the horizon. I've been trying, and I have not been very successful. I keep ending up as the "second choice" of colleges, but never the first choice. San Francisco State went with one person over me. Casper College went with the other person over me. Pacific University in Oregon went with the other person over me. They often call me to tell me that they wished they could have chosen me, but in the end, they didn't choose me. My prospects are looking really dim these days. I almost got Hillsdale College, and I probably would have got it, but I had problems with my flight, so they ended up having to give it to one of the other people who actually showed up for the official interview in Michigan. I don't really know what to do at this point. I'm not finding any success, and it's almost August now.

2. Working temporarily. I'm working for EF, which is an English teaching school that works through the University of Phoenix. It is one of those jobs that lasts only a month, and by the end of this week, I'll be completely unemployed again. Before that, I was working a temporary month or so job with the county as an election trainer. That, too, ended, so little by little my little gigs are drying up.

3. Overseas might be my only hope. I'm currently looking into working in South Korea, teaching English or debate. We'll see how that turns out.

4. My computer stopped working last week. Apparently, my power supply decided to stop working, or blew itself out. I had to take my computer to a shop to actually get it repaired. To be honest, even though I've been a computer technician before, I misdiagnosed my own computer and didn't realize it was something as simple as a bad power supply. So, I replaced that and added another gig of ram to my computer (bringing it up to 3 gigs of ram). Cost me $200 that I didn't really have, but what can I say?

5. My writing hasn't been going very well lately. I am at one of those stages in my writing where I have a novel formulating in my head, but it's not ready to come out yet. This happens to me a lot with my novels. Unfortunately, it leaves me wanting to write, but not feeling comfortable enough to write yet. I have a working title of this next project that seems to be around the corner, entitled: She Talks to Penguins. Believe it or not, it's actually a very serious project, and something a bit different from what I've tried to tackle in the past. Considering I've tackled adventure, suspense, science fiction, fantasy, epic comedy and romance, this is more of a slice of life kind of novel, which I never actually imagined I would be writing. I guess it is more consistent with some of my recent work, which included my short story "Simple Girl" that took second place from the Stockton Arts Commission this summer; for the record, my romance story, "Buried Memories," took first place from the Stockton Arts Commission the year before. "Simple Girl" was more of a moralistic type of story about a stereotyped girl who everyone seems to ridicule behind her back, but in the end she was really the wisest character in the story.

6. Relationships. None. That's never really changed. I had a conversation with Kat yesterday when we went out for a beer at BJ's, and we talked about that same subject. I guess I don't really know what it is I'm looking for these days. In the past, I was involved with some pretty strange women, dating anything from a crazy girl from Hong Kong who desired to kill everyone in the human race, fondly referring to me in a loving manner as "the last victim"; a professional dominatrix who didn't understand why men found her so intimidating; a seriously toxic semi-supermodel who used to leave the table after we eat to vomit up everything she just chowed down; several best friends with whom I may have or may not have been actually dating at the time (just couldn't figure it out and blatantly asking just gave me vague replies); a couple of 18-20 year olds, who put out airs that they were much more mature for their age until we started dating and then suddenly they were really 18-20 year olds in maturity as well; and well, a couple of others that were great but just weren't either looking for me, or not there when I was finally looking for them.

So, we somewhat concluded, or at least I did, that I'm looking for someone intelligent who can stimulate me intellectually. I don't find myself looking for the same thing other men are looking for. Sure, an attractive woman is great, and I'll spend an eternity looking at a beautiful woman (Shania Twain, I'm looking at you right now...), but there has to be more to it than that. And that's so hard to find because I think too many women are socially stigmatized by what other men are seeking that they're all convinced that most men are interested in them only for sex. And that bad disposition gets reinforced by bad choices they make in trying to find that guy who is "just like you but not you".

There have been a couple of women who have come along but they're just not interested in me, or in a relationship at the moment. Some of them have been perfect for me, and I felt I would be perfect for them. But those relationships have remained strictly friendships because they're seeking someone else, even though I sometimes suspect that they don't know what they're seeking either. What's funny is that no matter where I go, and I do go numerous places in my life, I always end up with at least one or two really close female friends who are never interested in anything beyond friendship. And my jury is still out as to whether or not that is a good or a bad thing.

7. The Shoulder. It still hurts. I can barely move my arm still, and the pain has actually spread to my right shoulder as well, so I have little full mobility, and it hurts when I try to stretch my arms behind my back, like when I try to put a belt on my pants. With that said, the pain has become lessened somewhat, and I do feel that I've been able to get a bit more sleep at night than I use to. I am heading in for a surgery consultation this afternoon, and then in August I'll actually have the surgery itself, where they stretch the shoulder into a position and then supposedly, that "fixes" the problem of "frozen shoulder". I'm hoping so because it's been over a year, and this situation has really sucked a lot.

8. Tabula Rasa. It means "clean slate" but it's also the name of the game I've been playing religiously with the spare time that I have every day. It's an online game, like World of Warcraft, but it's so much not like World of Warcraft. And that's what I was seeking: Something NOT World of Warcraft. The premise is that the Earth has been conquered by an alien race called the Thrax (or the Bane), and we've regrouped on other planets where we're trying to win back our freedom from Bane oppression. It's so much different than other games I've played, and it actually feels like you accomplish something when you play. Plus, the important thing for me, is that it has a very rich story interwoven into the fabric of the game. That's rare. The game was designed by the creator of Ultima (and Ultima Online), Richard Garriott. Great game. I highly recommend it.

9. The Thesis. My second draft was given to Marlin almost two weeks ago. I haven't heard back on it. It's 115 pages approximately, so I can see why it would take some time to read through and correct it. I'm hoping there's not much more to do, because I really want this over and done with. I've been in school way too long. Plus, I need the stupid degree so I can show that I have something in return for the two years I spent here at the University of the Pacific.

That's pretty much it for now. Wish I had more to add, but that's a mouthful alone.

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Learning to walk again

About a week ago, I started going on two mile walks. Nothing big, but considering the fact that I was doing absolutely no exercising at all, it's a start. I'm now getting to the point where I can feel myself wanting to run while I'm fast walking, but I realize I'm just not ready for that yet, and if I start out early I'll just end up slowing up my progress.

Also started to change my eating habits. Going out to eat for breakfast every morning is just way too expensive and way too many calories. Staying home, it's about a fourth of the price (eating food at home) and about 1/3 of the calories, if not even less than that.

I really wish I could get into an actual work out routine again, but this shoulder makes it impossible. It even hurts when I'm walking, so it's just one of those things that I wish would fix itself so I could work on getting myself in better shape.

My comprehensive exams start tomorrow sometime (I have no idea when, actually), so I'm a bit stressed out over that. My car also started showing the "Check Engine Soon" light, which means I'm somewhat screwed with my car that I still can't register because the State of California is dysfunctional when it comes to the DMV (although it sometimes feels like the DMZ when I go there). So, I'm really not sure what I'm going to do. It's pretty far to walk (about 3 miles) which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't raining and that I always end up walking home at 10pm at night. In the area where I live, that's guaranteed to get me killed, GUARANTEED.

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Michael Moore's "Sicko"

This semester I've been taking a graduate course on documentary film as political communication, so it's probably not surprising that Michael Moore has come up a few times in conversation. I've never really been a strong fan of Moore's but not because I disagree with him or think his methods are shady, but just because I've always felt that he sees too many things as black and white when I don't believe things ever really are.

Bowling for Columbine was a great movie, if you watched the movie as a process rather than as an argument. I came away from it with a couple of important points, although I wasn't completely sold on Moore's agenda. After it was over, I didn't have any desire for any more controls over guns. But I did come away from it with a new perspective on the culture of fear that exists within American society.

Now, Sicko was really interesting. I know there are claims made that are controversial, like Moorewatch claims that he cooks the numbers when he claims there are 50 million Americans uninsured (where Moorewatch calculates that the number is closer to 37 million, with around 9 million uninsured "non"-Americans who are in the US. What's really funny about criticisms like that one is that the movie has NOTHING to do with the uninsured of America. It's all about those who ARE insured, so who cares if it's 37 million, 50 million, or 250 million when that's not the topic being discussed?

The movie itself does point out that our system in the US is really screwed up. I've known that for years before seeing the movie. I know that this year I've spent so much money on co-pays to see specialists and my regular doctor that I'm close to being bankrupt right now. And I HAVE insurance. By the time the movie ended, I started thinking about learning French and just moving to France, because it is so obvious that their system cares a lot more about their people than ours does. I remember the nightmare I went through last summer just trying to get Kaiser Permanente to refer me to a specialist for my shoulder. It took an act of God, and my sister, to finally get something done about that.

So, the movie introduces a very interesting thing to think about. And that's the goal of a documentary. My class would argue that the goal is to persuade, but I'm starting to believe that's really not the contemporary goal. I think documentaries are designed to make us think. Used in conjunction with numerous devices, it may persuade, but I think in the beginning the goal of a documentary should be to introduce someone to the possibility that one's ideas are limited and in need of rethinking. And I think Sicko did that very well.

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5150

From Wikipedia:

Section 5150 is a section of California's Welfare and Institutions Code (specifically, the Lanterman-Petris-Short Act or "LPS") which allows a qualified officer or clinician to involuntarily confine a person deemed a danger to himself, herself, and/or others^[1] and/or gravely disabled. A qualified officer, which includes any California peace officer, as well as any specifically designated county clinician, can request the confinement after signing a written declaration. When used as a term, 5150 can informally refer to the person being confined or to the declaration itself.

Ever gone to see a counselor because things aren't going well in your life? Well, I discovered the intake person at Kaiser for counseling services does a very interesting thing when ascertaining your disposition. The intake person isn't really paying attention to what is going on in your life. He or she is more interested in questions like "Are you planning to do anything to hurt yourself?" Then they kindly set up an appointment with you that's not actually a counseling session, although it is called that. Instead, it is forty-five minutes of a psychotherapist trying to figure out whether or not to submit a 5150 claim, which would incarcerate someone as being a threat to himself or others, which they will do for 72 hours. So, if you're thinking bad, cloudy thoughts and you decide to see someone about it, be VERY CAREFUL of what you say to the intake person because that first person you see may not do a single thing to help you but will spend the entire 45 minutes (of which you still have to pay a co-pay) trying to decide whether or not to commit you.

I find that very interesting. So, if you're contemplating suicide and you don't want to be committed, DON'T TELL ANYONE AT KAISER just because you're hoping to see someone to help you find an alternative path to exploring the next day.

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Roommates, Cars, Women and Moving On

Over the years, I've had various roommates. Some have been okay, some have been horrific, and others were just regular. One of them was a blind Palestinian freedom fighter who dated 10,000 women and wanted me to give each one of them a different story as to why he was not "available" while he was "dating" someone else. But I digress....

I have three roommates now. All are okay. One of them I like a lot. She has a great attitude about everything, and I'll occasionally drive her to the store or to school. Another roommate I haven't seen in weeks, but his car shows up every now and then, so I know he's still living here. My other roommate is the one I've known the longest, and for some reason she's stopped talking to me. I don't know why. It's one of those things where I'll say "hi" and get one of those cold under the breath responses that don't develop into anything beyond that. So I go away thinking it must have been something I said, or did, or didn't say, or didn't do. I have this bad habit of wanting people to like me, so when I run into this sort of thing, it bugs me to no end. Strangely enough, I get along great with her boyfriend.

So, why does this bother me? Probably because lately everything has been bothering me. I don't date anymore, which leaves me lonely. I'm around people all the time, but they are arms-distance people who are in my proximity but not involved with me. So I'm essentially alone in the presence of other people.

My social networks are nonexistent. My closest friends live in El Cerrito, and I really don't have the opportunity to get to see them. I really live too far away. There's a theory in Interpersonal Communication that stems from social theory, and that's that people need intimate touch in their lives. One prominent scientist conjectured that people need 5 intimate touches a day to sustain a healthy life. I haven't been touched by anyone, aside from my physical therapist, in ages.

My life has hit a bizarre stage of frustration lately, especially concerning events that I just can't fix. This last week, out of the blue, I found out I can't register my car because the State of California says there are some problems "in Michigan" and that I needed to call "Michigan" to straighten it out. The number they gave me was to a disconnected phone, which didn't help any. I really don't know who to call or what to do about it. I don't even know what to do once I contact "Michigan" and figure it out. California won't register my car, not Michigan.

I get a nonstop avalanche or rejection letters from publishers, agents and editors. My writing career isn't happening.

Relationships haven't really worked out for me because I just live a lifestyle that's really not normal, and finding someone really hasn't been successful for me. I'm really not happy unless I'm in a relationship where I'm making my partner happy. I lived for many years thinking I was lacking in the attributes necessary to attract a partner, and now that I've managed to actually build a repertoire of skills and abilities, it seems like I'm too late, that all of my prospects have passed me by. The few women over the years to whom I would have surrendered the world for a chance to be with them never felt the same way in return. Yet, I see so much of the opposite all around me, and it makes me wonder if somehow I missed a connection in a train station I never realized I was traveling through.

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Societal double standards

Well, it appears that the jury is deciding whether or not Britney Spears was a trainwreck on the MTV's Video Music Awards program. While I stopped watching MTV when it actually stopped playing music videos, I am finding the condemnation of Britney to be quite humorous to observe. You see, while it was obvious she was just going through the motions and probably wasn't ready to be out in public doing this sort of thing just yet, what amazes me is that one of the commentaries being waged against her is that not only was she untalented, but she was also fat. Now, look at the picture. Is she really fat? Is she really considered obese? She just had a kid, and who can honestly be expected to keep the weight they wore when they were just becoming an adult?

But even without all that, what I find fascinating is that there is this whole movement in this day and age to "be proud of your body" no matter what size it is. Magazines that ridicule people who aren't "perfect" and then hold up to a pedestal women who starve themselves to death to maintain an unhealthy figure are the same magazines that are ridiculing Britney for being overweight, pudgy, and in the words of The New York Post, her performance was "lard and clear", stating that her "bulging belly she was flaunting was so not hot."

So, young women across the country, expect to be continued to be held to ridiculous standards of perfection to entice men and please women who are as critical as they expect men to be. We haven't moved any further forward on this issue, and we took three steps back. To me, THAT is so not hot, but then I don't write for The New York Post.

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That's the last time I help Batman fight Mr. Freeze

You know, once they refer you to a specialist, the medical staff no longer sucks. The orthopedic doctor took about five minutes to figure out I have what is called Frozen Shoulder. Miraculously, I was able to fit into a same day appt to see my new physical therapist. She verified it was definitely frozen shoulder, so now we're working on that. I have to do some specific stretching exercises and THEY HURT but I'm hoping this will solve things down the line.

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If you want anything done in this country, you got to beat the crap out of someone to get it

I decided I couldn't wait until August 23rd to have someone do something about my arm. I really don't sleep that much anymore because of my arm; it wakes me up in the middle of the night and then just throbs. So, I went into Kaiser, tried to get Ortho to change my appointment, which they said was impossible, and then I went to Member Services and...well...threw a holy fit that even Lindsay Lohan on crack couldn't have mimicked. Well, after about half an hour of that, somehow they were able to "fit me in" this Monday because someone miraculously canceled right at that particular moment. So, I'm seeing Ortho on Monday morning.



Countdown: 363 days

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Nope...no waiting lists in the USA for health care

The doctor that had me have an xray called me back today and told me she was referring me to a specialist. Turns out the first appointment I can make with a Kaiser specialist for my shoulder/arm is August 23rd. In other words, buck up little trooper and live with the pain for another three weeks before we let you see someone who will then order more tests and then have you wait even longer.

Yes, health care in this country is quite up to speed to all those third world countries like Canada and Europe.



Countdown: 364 days

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The perpetual arm problem

I'm still trying to get something done about my arm/shoulder. It's amazing how hard it is to actually get something done about it. I know Michael Moore's Sicko is all about how the health industry has its problems, but one of the biggest criticisms of the movie is that it focuses on foreign health programs and forgets to mention the long waiting lists people have to endure to receive care. Well, we have those, too. We just don't acknowledge them. I'll give you an example. Seeing my doctor was hard enough, considering she got injured and there's no way for me to know that, so NO ONE gets back to me when I'm trying to arrange an appointment. So, I have to arrange an appointment with some random doctor who is tasked with taking her clients, although no one knows she is tasked to do it, and there's nothing in place to let any clients know this.

So, I finally get to see her, and what I need is an MRI. I know this. My sister, the nurse, knows this. The homeless guy who hangs out at Carls Jr. knows this. But it seems that no one in Kaiser knows this. So, they first give me medication that doesn't work. So, a month goes by. I say I'm still in serious pain. They give me more medication. That still doesn't work. So I say I'm still in serious pain. They give me a cordizone (spelling?) shot. Helps for about a day, then the pain returns. They then give me medication. I keep asking for an MRI. Nope. Must go the process. Four months later, and about four hours of sleep later because of the throbbing pain each and every night, this strange doctor tells me I must have a referral to a doctor who can order an MRI, but before I can get this referral, I have to have an Xray done. Okay, that was Friday. Can't seem to get ahold of anyone as of Monday. So, that's where I am. Over 4 months have passed, and I'm still in serious, throbbing pain. And I still can't get referred to the guy who can order an MRI, THE ONE THING I NEED.

Krista and I broke up today. It was inevitable. I saw it coming some time ago because I realized that she was making too many sacrifices to be with me, and she didn't deserve that. She deserves better, and I wish her well.

I've been trying to get back into the swing of writing. It's been really hard because my place is somewhat trashed, and it's hard working around all of that. I spent a good portion of today just looking at the crap around the apartment before realizing I wasn't going to do anything to make it cleaner, so I ended up just puttering around the house most of the day.

I've decided to give up on finding a job. It's not worth the effort. It has cost me more money this summer trying to find a job than if I had stuck it out at home hiding behind my futon. I realize that there's really only one way I'm going to have a chance to become part of real civilization, and that's for my writing career to get moving. I'm giving it a year (the time I have left for school before I pick up my second MA). If I don't make it by then, I may just end it all right then and there. I'm figuring on a running jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, but from the opposite side as no one ever jumps from that side, and I'd like my end to at least be somewhat nonconformist.

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Temp job

I should be starting a temp job tomorrow morning. I'm not exactly sure how long it is supposed to last, but my understanding is that the hours are 8am to 5pm, Monday through Friday. It's essentially a glorified data entry position, but the pay is okay, and as we all know, I need money desperately. We'll see how long it lasts after I get there and find out a little more about it. It's in Pleasanton, which means it's quite a trip to get there, but again, beggars can't really be choosers sometimes.

Unfortunately, my shoulder hasn't been getting any better, and even with some medication, it's just overly painful sometimes.

That's pretty much it for now.

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Healthy in the health business

Today, I had the fortune (good or bad...who knows?) of having to visit Kaiser Permanente, the place where I have my health coverage. And as I was sitting in the lab, waiting for service, I started thinking, and here's how my thought process went:

1. I've been working hard on getting in better shape. I weigh a lot less now than I did a few years ago, having gone from 204 (some years back) to 180, not that long ago, to 156-7 today. So, I'm proud of what I've done because I've been working hard on becoming healthier.

2. My doctor at Kaiser emphasizes health all the time, talking about how it can save your life.

3. I remember my friend Jason who a few years back really got into a healthy lifestyle, and he looks great these days. A great inspiration for all.

4. I remember lots and lots of people at Spectrum Health hospitals in the admin departments, constantly asking him how he lost the weight, which diet he was on, and all sorts of similar questions that never resulted in a "I think I'm going to do that, too".

5. I remember a lot of people in the admin departments of Spectrum Health being in really bad physical shape. I thought nothing of it at the time.

6. So, here I was at Kaiser, watching all of the employees, and most were admin people, but what I discovered was that 80 percent of all the employees were grotesquely out of shape. I don't mean a few pounds over, but unhealthy and dangerously close to situations that might put them in a very bad situation.

7. I looked at all the signage at Kaiser explaining how to become healthier. I remember the same signage at Spectrum. I then looked at both the customers and the staff, and I realized many more were way out of shape than were in shape.

8. I concluded, from my recent dabble in marketing communication, that Kaiser (and possibly quite a few hospitals) need to start really focusing on their own staff's health (not just recommendations) but actually do something about it, because I started thinking to myself that if the staff who are telling me to get healthy are less healthy than I am, what kind of message is that actually sending?

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Got a steroid shot today

Yes, now I talk like zee Arnoldz, and suddenly my muscles have grown into mountains. I have this immediate desire to weight lift and ride my bicycle at really rapid speeds.

Okay, not really. I finally broke down and arranged a steroid shot for my arm. It's been killing me for months, and let's just say that I was moving into a very dark place where even Obi Wan couldn't bring me back, because I went to bed every night in pain from my arm, not able to sleep in most positions. It is supposed to take a few days to start healing, so we'll see. I really need to feel better again.

Anyway, that's all.

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